I am so taken aback by the depth of Chloe's desire to meet her birth mother. It pains her to admit it to me, but it comes from someplace so deep that she can't deny it. I waiver between pain for Chloe and anger at her birth mom for all the pain she caused. In the same breath I must also be eternally grateful that Chloe's birth mother chose to carry Chloe to term and not abort her like so many other Chinese women in difficult situations choose. She chose to give Chloe a life and now we are blessed by it, so how can I stay angry with her? Do you see how my thoughts go around in circles these days? Can you imagine how confusing it is to Chloe?
I read the following article recently on the Attachment and Bonding Center of Ohio's Facebook page and it helped me to understand the complexity of what Chloe faces day in and day out being part of our transracial family.