What's Up Next?

    Chloe got into the action kneading the dough for cinnamon rolls.

  Lots has been happening with Chloe lately.  First of all, Praise the Lord, we got funding for a neuro feedback machine in our home.  I started learning how to operate the system at our last therapy session and it should be up and running by the end of next week.  I am anxious to see how much more effective it will be when it's used more often.

    Chloe has begun to see a speech therapist.  The clarity of her speech has been a concern for a while, but we've had a difficult time finding a therapist that recognizes the importance of early speech intervention for a child without an established first language like Chloe.  Thankfully, we found Concorde Kids through a friend of ours and they work with many adoptive kids.  Chloe is able to pronounce most of her letters, but when she speaks in a conversation, she leaves out middle syllable sounds.  Instead of ki-tt-en, she will say ki-en.  This will require weekly trips about an hour away.  Thankfully, it isbe covered by our insurance because Chloe had trouble with her ears as a baby.

    Also at Concorde Kids, Chloe saw an occupational therapist to test for Sensory Processing Disorder.  We have been suspicious that Chloe had this problem for some time, but chose to work on other things first.  Her symptoms include lots of climbing and crashing with no fear, smelling lots of things, and lots of rubbing on my skin.  You may remember that last fall Chloe dislocated her elbow and gave no indication of pain.  Lack of pain recognition seems like the most serious problem and our real motivation for having her assessed.  Sensory Disorder in orphanage kids comes from lack of stimulation.  They lay in a crib staring at the ceiling with little or no stimulation.  Now Chloe literally craves stimulation, both in touch and in joint compression (crashing).  Once we fulfill her need and fill her tank so to speak, her craving for stimulation will come down to a normal level.  Weekly trips to O.T. with lots of crashing and stimulation should help greatly.  If you have questions about Sensory Disorder feel free to email me at  thebeachfamily@cs.com

Won't You Be My Love

  When the going gets tough as an adoptive parent, it can be tough to keep looking at the "bigger picture."  I heard a song yesterday that helped me refocus my perspective.  It's all about giving a lost child the freedom to know Jesus for eternity.  Click the link to the song below and listen especially to the 2nd verse.  I hope it's an encouragement to you too.

You Tube: Won't You Be My Love by Mercy Me

Adoption Issues Blog

I have spent a lot of time on this blog talking about attachment and now I would like to begin sharing blog entries from Chloe attachment therapist, Arleta James.  Adoption and attachment issues are very complicated and vary from child to child.  I hope it will be helpful to other adoptive parents who struggle to show love to their kids each day.   Perscriptives on Challenged Family Building

Mr & Mrs Beach

   It is not uncommon for an adoptive child to get angry with their parents and blame them for taking them away from their birth  parent(s).  Because they don't understand the reality of abandonment, the truth is twisted and the rescuing parents become the "bad guys." 
   Chloe had been on a slippery downhill slope of regression ever since we missed a session of her neuro feedback, the brainwave treatment that I have spoken about that's part of her ongoing therapy.  It all came to a head last week when a very angry, stubborn Chloe had therapy.  Arleta, Chloe's attachment therapist,  proceeded to tell her that she needed to listen to Mom and Dad and act like a family girl.  Chloe seemed very angry and refused to speak, so Arleta talked to her about her life story, a sort of time line of events beginning with her abandonment and progressing to when she was adopted and traveled to America.  As we talk about how she must have felt throughout this timeline, something will often trigger an emotion for Chloe.  Her face may get red with anger or tears will well up in her eyes, sometimes her forehead will furrow or she'll start breathing quickly.  Suffice it to say, it is always very obvious when we've hit on the right area of trouble.
   On a previous visit, Chloe had been very angry when she was told she was not going to live in China again.  We knew this issue was still unresolved.  Arleta asked Chloe if Mommy and Daddy were important to her (in an effort to motivate to make better choices).  Chloe promptly said no we were not and when Arleta asked her to tell us, she sat up, looked each of us in the eye and said, "You are not important to me."  The consequence she was given by Arleta, since we were not important to her, was that we were Mr & Mrs Beach to Chloe instead of Mom and Dad.  This meant we still took care of her, but she did not get special loving privileges of being part of the family, candy, fun toys, choices, etc. since she rejected the family. 
   Chloe continued to call us Mr & Mrs Beach and refuse to be part of the family for almost 3 days.  Occasionally we would ask her if she had decided yet to be part of the family and she would just say no.  Finally, Sunday night, Greg was putting Chloe to bed and asked her once again if she wanted to be a part of the family.  She smiled and said yes.  Chloe then went on to tell both Greg and I that we are important to her and that she loved us.  Once again our sweet, kind-hearted Chloe was back.  She had let go of all the anger and had come to a place of acceptance again.  What a relief to be back to "normal."  Arleta did say it usually takes two times of this happening for it to really stick, so at some point I will probably have to be Mrs Beach again. :(
     On a lighter note, we celebrated Chinese New Year as a family a few weeks ago and here are some pictures.

Chloe's working on mastering her chopsticks.  The little guy at the top holds them together to make it easier to learn.  I think I need some like that. :)

Sleigh Ride at the Exotic Animal Farm

We got to spend the wknd with the Brown family, our adoptive friends.  There is an exotic animal petting farm a few minutes from our house, so we took an amazing sleigh ride through the animals.

We all huddled under very warm blankets and slipped and slid over the hills to feed the animals.

Chloe loved feeding the llamas and one of us even got caught in the spitting crossfire.

We got to meet George the 17ft. daddy giraffe in the barn where he was staying with about 6 other giraffes.  He was huge!  This is a 2nd story platform we're standing on to see him eye to eye.

While we waited for the sleighs to arrive, we got to visit with a baby zebra and giraffe.  What an amazing experience!

We spent the rest of the wknd at a hotel with the Browns and enjoyed catching up.  The girls got to go swimming and just had fun playing tag and hiding from everyone.

Alexandria and Chloe were orphanage buddies.

Chloe discovered goggles for the first time and is now swimming around with her head under the water.

What a fish!  A little fear could be a good thing too :)

Daddy's Birthday

We helped Greg celebrate his 40th birthday.

Chloe loves to imitate her sisters.  Here she is dressed in her sisters tank top, t-shirt, and basketball shorts.  She thought she was such big stuff.

We have a new addition to our living room.  Chloe is always jumping off things (coffee table, cupboards, chairs, etc), so this mini trampoline is being put to good use on these cold days of winter.

Sunday School Milestone

     This worried little face is one we have gotten accustomed to.  Chloe has made lots of strides in her emotional development, but being away from mom has continued to be a struggle.  We recently started attending a new, large church and Chloe's therapist encouraged us to have her try Sunday School.  Remember, this is the same little girl who still won't go upstairs to her bedroom without someone with her.  Just talking about Sunday School in therapy with Chloe made her anxious.  Well, 2 wks ago we took her to class for only 10 min. then came back and got her.  She had a good time, but was glad to see us.  This passed week, before we ever left for church she talked about how excited she was for Sunday School class.   When Greg took her to class, she turned and looked at him as if to say, "what are you still doing here?"  The best medicine for most separation anxiety is just to let them cry it out and they'll figure out your coming back, but the stakes are different with a child who has been abandoned.  We have worked really hard to gain Chloe's trust and teach her object permanence (even though you can't see me I am still here).  So you can understand why this is such a milestone for us. 

   On a separate note, we would appreciate your prayers about getting state funding approval for a home neuro feedback computer.  Chloe has been getting special brain wave treatments for about 6 mon. as part of her therapy.  It has helped to lower her anxiety level and she is sleeping easier.  However, since we live nearly 2 hours from therapy, she can only get treatments every 2wks.  Some kids have them 3 times a wk.  The more treatments, the quicker the success rate.  I would be able to do these treatment at home under the supervision of Chloe's therapist, however the system costs over $5000.  We are applying this week for special funding from Ohio to cover our expense.  It was be a real blessing.