Pain Tolerance

    Yesterday morning we made a quick trip to the doctor.  Chloe woke up not using her right arm at all.  The night before, I had picked her up by her wrists with her arms extended straight to hug her goodnight.  She told Greg at bedtime that I had squeezed her arm too tight.  There were no tears.  During the night she cried and was kind of in distress, but no mention of pain.  Two x-rays later, she was diagnosed with a dislocated radius and it was still out of place.  A wiggle and a twist later, it was back in place and by afternoon she was using it again.  At no point would Chloe actually tell us she was in pain!  I can't believe she was walking around with her arm out of place of place and not screaming.

   At therapy last night, I asked Arleta if this was common and she said it's sensory issue.  Many kids who have been in an orphanage do not have a good sense of their body.  They can be in really severe pain and yet pretend everything is okay.  Occupational therapy can address this issue and we will be looking into this in the future.



Social Milestone

      It has taken a long time for Chloe's social development to catch up with her age.  In Sept. we started taking her to Sunday School and she has really enjoyed it.  This is the first classroom setting she has experienced, so she's learning to stay in her chair and listen to the teacher, etc.  Chloe has always loved singing, so it was right up her ally to sing in church.  She wasn't intimidated in least :)

 I've been doing a lot of Christmas shopping online this year.  Greg made a great 2 story club house for Chloe and her kitties out of some of the boxes.  She's been playing in it for weeks.

Family Craziness!

  A quick update on Chloe's regression.  We had therapy this past Sat. and Chloe experienced new waves of grief.  It was so sad to watch as emotions rolled over her and rocked her.  As Arleta talked through her life story this time, fear was the emotion Chloe was feeling.  In the past, the emotion associated with her history was sadness.  Another layer has came off and now it is fear she is working through.  The fear is from being abandoned in a crowd, from not recognizing any faces around her at the police station, new sounds, new smells, hunger, etc.  As Arleta described what Chloe must have been feeling as an infant through those experiences, I could watch Chloe's face and see an emotion get triggered that she had experienced. Then the tears would come.  Thankfully, as she cried, the emotion was released and she no longer has to carry it with her anymore.  Although, we still see regression in Chloe, her eyes are "smiling" again and we know working through these newly uncovered emotions is the key to her moving forward.  Sleeping and separation anxiety and still a struggle, but we will continue to tow the line and know that this too will pass.

Fall Changes

     It been a long time since my last post, so I'll try to get you caught up on the Beach family today.  With school going, I have truly become a "soccer mom" again, transporting and cheering.  Homework has taken it's toll on family time and added much stress.  We have struggled with one of our girls in the public school system, so that has taken a lot of our time and attention.  So much of this blog has focused on Miss Chloe and her transition to attachment in our family.  The reality is, she is but 1 of my 4 beautiful daughters.

We celebrated my 40th birthday (don't worry, no tears were shed) at the Millennium Theater in Lancaster, PA last weekend.  The story of Joseph was amazing and inspiring.

Tom Sharpes, a friend of Greg's from college, has been acting at the theater since 1994.  He played Jacob, Joseph's father in the show.  We had the special privilege of going back stage and talking to him for a few minutes between shows.

Sunday, we stopped in Hershey, PA on our way home and got our chocolate fix.  The girls enjoyed the tour of how chocolate is made.

 Unfortunately, this little angry face below has become all too common right now. 

  Regression has officially hit as a result of Chloe move out of our bedroom.  She had been doing so well, but we knew it was a little too good to be true.  It was obvious that regression would come and we saw little hints of it.  Now it has arrived with all it's vengeance.  Chloe is angry and disobedient.  She is kicking and hitting her sisters again, throwing fits, crying like an infant, and struggling to control her emotions.  Even Chloe's language has regressed.  It is difficult to understand her again and her speaking is back to that "sing-songy" Asian feel.  Chloe's sleep is very restless.  Her therapist said her brain still thinks it's in the orphanage at night when she is alone in her bed.  We hear her talking in her sleep and crying out.  Sometimes she will kick and thrash around.  Last Thurs., she called out and thrashed around 6 times between 12:30 and 3:00am.  The lack of sleep isn't helping my ability to cope with it either.  Thank the Lord this regression is only temporary and that there is a sweet, happy little girl under all of that trauma.  I can't wait to see her again.

    If any of you are struggling with attachment or behavioral issues and could use a listening ear, please feel free to email me directly:  thebeachfamily@cs.com

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."  Matt. 11:28

The Last Big Hurdle

     This day has been a long-time coming!  After 2 1/2yrs., I am thrilled to say that Chloe has moved to her own bed out of our room.  Saturday night was her first night sleeping upstairs in her sister's room and she did great.  We are seeing the expected daytime regression.  I asked Chloe how she liked sleeping upstairs and she said, "I don't like it.  I need my mommy."  Up to this point, she has been able to just open her eyes at night and be assured that I have not abandoned her.  It takes a lot a trust to believe I will still be there if she can't see me.  Thankfully, she has recently recovered pretty quickly from regressions and this is the last big hurdle we had to face in her healing.

This beautiful butterfly came out of its chrysalis today and Chloe had fun holding it while its wings dried.

I just had to take this picture.  Chloe is giving her constant companion, Toby a ride in the back of her car.

Chloe had a chance to help her great grandma celebrate her 86th birthday this month.

     As I look back over the passed year of therapy, I am reminded just how far Chloe has come.  We started with a 2 yr old who wasn't sleeping, couldn't leave my side, was biting, hitting and screaming, had no emotional regulation, lived as independently as possible, and kept her loving, forever family at arms length out of fear.

Here's a link to a post at the beginning of our attachment journey:

http://beachbabyblog.blogspot.com/2009_06_01_archive.html

Thank you Lord for your healing touch in our lives!

Home Again

The Smokey Mountains were a great, relaxing time of vacation.

We found a fantastic place to climb on the rocks.  There were huge boulders in a cold mountain stream.  Greg and the girls even found a natural slide carved into a rock to slide down.

Chloe turned 3 while we were gone.  We found a mini Dora cake to celebrate.

We spent an awesome day at Dollywood's Splash Country.  It's one of the top 10 water parks in the country.

Chloe loved this little water slide and went down by herself over and over again.

We got to spend a day with Audrey in Chattanooga.  She's the little girl that was adopted from Chloe's orphanage, Qian Jiang, that looks a lot like Chloe.  She is in the purple shirt above.

For those of you who don't remember their story, there is a link below with more details.

How Chloe and Audrey Found Each Other

    Chloe did really well on vacation.  We thought maybe she would have trouble with regression, but things went really smoothly.  It was obvious when she was uncomfortable, but instead of just acting out, Chloe was able to tell us she was scared when asked and then we held her for a while.  Crowds were the biggest struggle.  It's a leftover from her abandonment sight that was a crowded public place.  The next step is moving her out of our room and upstairs to her sister's room.  We've juggle the other girls around and now that it's done, Chloe can begin napping in her new bed.  Unfortunately, she has already started acting out as a result of her fear and we've only talked about her sleeping somewhere else.  It promises to be a difficult transition, but thankfully this will be the last one.  Sept. will be 2 1/2yrs that she's been sleeping in our room.

My Daddy!

     I haven't spoken very much about Chloe's relationship to her dad, because it's normal for an attachment kid to attach to their new mom first and then once that relationship is established, to move on to Dad attachment.  It's the same pattern a newborn would follow.  Chloe's relationship with Greg has been a rocky one.  Though we've seen great strides in her behavior and attachment to me, she has kept her dad at arms length.  She tolerates him because she has too, but Greg has put up with a lot of rejection from Chloe.  Since our last therapy session 2 wks ago, Chloe has made great strides and truly has been the happiest, sweetest, girl we have seen yet. 

     The girls and I spent 4 days at a basketball tournament this week and Greg had to work.  When we arrived home, she gave him an amazing reception.  Chloe hugged his neck and said, "I missed you Daddy!  I love you!" for the first time showing spontaneous affection to him.

     Times of hardship help us to appreciate small blessings and we thank God for the continued healing of Chloe's heart.

Indians Game and Summer Fun

We took Chloe to her first baseball game last week.

She loved cheering for the team and eating peanuts.

Peanuts only held her attention for so long and Chloe ended up watching Dora the Explorer on my ipod.

She tuckered out by about the 8th inning, but woke up to watch the fireworks from the car.

Summer brings lots of fun foods.  Chloe loved the taste of corn on the cob, but promptly declared it too messy.

Chloe has really enjoyed having her sisters home from school.  It's amazing to see the ways they can come up with to pretend.