Update

     It's been a long time since I have posted anything on Chloe's blog.   Chloe is now 8 1/2 and a 2nd grader.  She loves to read and is as active and busy as ever.  She gets great joy from surprising people and solving puzzles. Recently, Chloe had a lead role in the 2nd grade Christmas play.  Even though she was terrified, she did an amazing job singing and acting.

     

    Chloe has voiced concern about my sharing so much of her life on the Internet, so I have chosen to respect her wishes and stop sharing her life struggles in such a public environment.  I am still very active in supporting other parents, so if there are questions you have or anything I can do to help your situation, feel free to comment and I'll get back with you.

     God's faithfulness through our journey continues to be evident in Chloe's life and we want to publicly give Him praise and honor, not only for the emotionally healing that we see taking place in Chloe's heart, but for the struggles that have forced growth and change in each of us.

Progress and Merry Christmas

    As a 6 year old, Chloe is drinking in so much information right now.  She is like a sponge, constantly asking questions and learning.  As a kindergartner, Chloe is beginning to read.  She finds her sight words everywhere and I'm constantly hearing, "Mommy what does this spell?" or "how do you spell..."  I am predicting that books will be her constant companion in the very near future.  Chloe has always had a hunger for information and once she's able to get it on her own, she will want to drink it in.
    I have been giving Chloe piano lessons over the past few months and she loves to sit down at the piano and play.  She is still in the very early stages, learning to count the rhythms and play the most simple songs.  She hasn't learned to read the music yet.  One day Chloe said, "Mommy can I show you something?"  This is what she played:

To my surprise, Chloe had figured out the melody to The First Noel by ear on her own from listening to her sisters play.

    I'm excited to share some great test result we've gotten on Chloe.  After 2 yrs of  neurofeedback training as part of Chloe's attachment and post traumatic stress therapy, we are seeing real changes in her brain function.  Portions of her brain that were not functioning properly as a result of her early trauma are showing significant improvement.  It's great to have test results that back up what we have seen in her anxiety, sleep and anger levels.  If you'd like more information to see if  neurofeedback may help your child please follow this link:

http://www.arletajames.com/neurofeedbackresources.html

Merry Christmas!

Which Way is Up?

   This is a common scene at our house these days.  Chloe has learned to do cartwheels and I'm quite sure she does a minimum of 25 a day.  She started a tap and tumble class and that was all the encouragement she needed.  She has now mastered cartwheels, 1 handed cartwheels and round-offs all within the first 6 wks. of class.  Chloe is one determined girl and it doesn't hurt that she prefers being upside down anyway. 
     Ever since kindergarten began, our school is all day every other day, Chloe's sensory disorder from her early life in the orphanage is much more obvious. Her body has an incredible craving for joint compression (crashing) and heavy muscle work.  It's more noticeable since she has to hold still for so long and keep it under control.  By the time she gets home from school, she is ready to bounce like a "Tigger."  That's how her Occupational Therapist used to describe her craving for sensory input.  She would ask Chloe if she felt like a "Tigger", a "Pooh", or an "Eeyor."  Feeling like "Pooh" was the goal.  The other day she came home from school and really wanted to talk to me.  Chloe sat on the couch next to me and was moving around so much we couldn't even talk.  Solution:  We moved the mini-trampoline into the living room.  As soon as Chloe started bouncing, we were able to have a very nice conversation.  Chloe's new obsession with tumbling is just another outlet to get her joint compression.

Parenting Differently

    Having already parented 3 biological children for 10+ years prior to Chloe's arrival, Greg and I thought we had a pretty good idea of what worked and didn't work when it came to parenting.  Chloe as an 8 month old of course didn't need much discipline, etc.  She was learning to feed herself, roll over, and sit up well.  As time went on, however, and Chloe caught up in her physical development, some of her emotional struggles began to make themselves more apparent.  We gave it time and assumed that showing this little one love would be enough to get her through the difficult beginning that she had.  By age 2, I started to look into parenting book for the strong-willed child.  None of the basic time-out and swat on the bottom methods were having any positive impact.  In fact, if anything they were making things worse.  In the mean time, our family dynamic was escalating too.  With a major lack of sleep, Greg and I were not only struggling in our marriage, but also in parenting our older children and especially Chloe.  Little did we realize that all of these things were having such a negative impact on Chloe's brain and heart healing.  The following article explains why we struggled so much to reach our daughter.

Parenting "Deerly"

6 Years Old

     Happy Birthday to our dear sweet Chloe.  We celebrated several times but what you see is her favorite foods all in one meal.  Chloe chose: pizza, macaroni and cheese, corn on the cob, watermelon, and strawberry pie instead of cake.

   Some of the gifts Chloe was given was a kitten glasses stand so she can always find her new glasses and an American Girl doll with long straight hair.  She loves to do her hair!

    We also celebrated Chloe's birthday last week in Colorado with fellow adoptees.  They all turned 6 within 5 days of each other.

 

 We celebrated their special bond by giving each of them a Chinese character "sister" pendent on a red cord to remind them that even if they can't see each other very often, there is a common history that will always bind them together.

The Red Thread Connection

     We are blessed to be spending some time in Colorado this week with 2 adoptive families we traveled to China with 5 years ago.  On the first night in town we had a quick photo shoot with a professional photographer that had been on our China trip also.  It was amazing to watch the innate connection these 3 little girls had immediately when they were put together once again.  Below is a post that Tara the photographer posted about our "red thread" girls. 

http://blog.redthreadimages.com/2013/07/the-red-thread-stretches-but-never.html

 

 

A Transracial Lesson

    I am so taken aback by the depth of Chloe's desire to meet her birth mother. It pains her to admit it to me, but it comes from someplace so deep that she can't deny it.  I waiver between pain for Chloe and anger at her birth mom for all the pain she caused.  In the same breath I must also be eternally grateful that Chloe's birth mother chose to carry Chloe to term and not abort her like so many other Chinese women in difficult situations choose.  She chose to give Chloe a life and now we are blessed by it, so how can I stay angry with her?  Do you see how my thoughts go around in circles these days?  Can you imagine how confusing it is to Chloe?
    I read the following article recently on the Attachment and Bonding Center of Ohio's Facebook page and it helped me to understand the complexity of what Chloe faces day in and day out being part of our transracial family.

Lessons Learned Being a Transracial Family