Beach Baby Blog

A Reminder in the New Year

2012-01-02T16:56:00.000-05:00

I have dedicated this blog to helping others understand the ups and down of international adoption. I read an article today that was a fantastic reminder of what these little ones have come through, including Chloe. To all you adoptive parents out there, I hope you read this, take a deep, pray for patience, and go give your child an extra hug for today.

http://www.informedadoptions.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=89&Itemid=67

Merry Christmas

2011-12-22T09:06:00.001-05:00

Family Snowfall Holiday

Create custom Christmas cards this holiday at Shutterfly.

View the entire collection of cards.

Forgotten or Left Behind?

2011-11-23T09:32:00.001-05:00

It's amazing how quickly the happy little girl you see above making applesauce with her family can disintegrate into an angry, misbehaving one.

I have committed to being frank and honest on this blog about the reality of raising an adopted child diagnosed with Radical Attachment Disorder and Sensory Integration Disorder. I must admit though, it's much easier to sit down and write a good report than a difficult one. I don't in any way want to represent Chloe in a negative light or give the impression that our love and commitment to her as our forever daughter has changed. Simply, I understand that we are not the only parents struggling to help our child adjust to trauma from the past. If we can help others find solutions, then our struggles have not been in vain. (2 Cor. 1:4)

   In the last blog post, Chloe was having a lot of success with her sensory disorder through occupational therapy. Since that time, we have had a steady down hill slide back to constant anger. She is provoking her sisters and doing anything she can think of spread the anger she is feeling to those around her. The little girl who loved preschool and looked forward to it, is now crying and begging not to go. We aren't exactly sure what triggered the regression.  Chloe had a big reaction to my arriving 2 min. late for a preschool pickup several weeks ago and also she has come to a new understanding in therapy that her birth mom did not just forget her, but that she was intentionally left, thus the blog post title.
    Apparently, Chloe had decided that her birth mom had simply forgotten to come back and get her, so she was angry at the orphanage and us for taking her away because her birthmom "was coming back to get her."  This was easier to accept, but her new understanding has brought on a whole new level of anger. Since her birth mom isn't here, she takes it out on us. Can you imagine suddenly grasping that you were intentionally abandoned? As Chloe grows up, there will be many times that we will have to revisit her life story and address the same issues in light of a new capacity for her brain to understand.
    So what now? We pray a lot, continue therapy and neurofeedback along with directing her anger toward who she's really mad at, her birth mom. In our family, much of our job as parents also is to help our older daughters cope and know how to react to Chloe when she's struggling.
     As always, your prayers for us are greatly appreciated! We'll keep you posted.

Happy Thanksgiving!

A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words

2011-10-18T06:49:00.001-04:00

I have spoken of Chloe going to occupational therapy for her sensory disorder on several occasions, but I thought it would be nice to show you what it actually looks like at Concorde Kids. Chloe is swinging with her therapist and gets the heavy muscle workout that her body craves by grabbing bean bags and throwing them at a target.

The rock wall climb is always Chloe's favorite activity. She gets to climb the wall and then jump off the platform into a crash pillow. Each activity is about joint compression, heavy muscle workout, or intense sensory input. They even use things like sour spray and pieces of bubble gum to give her jaw a workout and her senses input. Amy is always asking Chloe about what her body needs. Does she feel like "a Tigger, Pooh, or Ehor?" Tigger would mean she feels crazy and needs more of a workout, Pooh means she feels good, and Ehor means she is too tired. Part of the therapy goal is to help Chloe recognize what her body needs and fulfill it in an appropriate safe way.

Preschool Blessings

2011-09-17T20:15:00.001-04:00

There was a real air of apprehension as I left for Chloe's first day of afternoon preschool. We had been talking about it for a long time and Chloe always said she didn't want to go. It would be the first time she was away from us for any extended time without her sisters. At orientation she was very excited to see the fun, challenging toys that had been laid out to play, but I must say that my mouth was nearly hanging open when I left and there was no clinging and crying! I even stood in the hall for a while to see if there was a delayed reaction, but there was nothing. When I went back to pick her up 2 1/2 hrs. later, she was sitting with the class on the floor and even answered a question.
Chloe sleeps with a picture of Greg and I beside her pillow each night so that if she wakes up she can look at the picture and know that we are here and haven't left her. She has struggled in her big bed upstairs waking up feeling like she was back in the orphanage alone. The picture seemed to resolve those feelings, so I sent a picture of us attached to a lanyard along with her to preschool for her to wear and look at anytime she was scared we wouldn't come back and get her. I'm not sure what did the trick, but I'm certain the fervent prayers that were being offered on her behalf that day by so many played a huge roll.
So we consider ourselves very blessed to be able to share this milestone with you. Chloe seems to genuinely enjoy preschool and we rejoice that we can celebrate this step forward in her trust and security.

Family Therapy - Green Beans

2011-08-27T18:37:00.000-04:00

Last night we had arduous task of snipping green beans to freeze for the year. It takes about a 1 1/2 bushels and it's never been a favorite of mine. So, needless to say I was not looking forward to it. It has been a crazy first week of school with a daughter in high school, Jr. high, elementary school, and preschool, not to mention 2 fall sports. We really haven't hardly seen each other. As it turned out, about 8pm last night we were all home sitting around the table snipping beans. Green beans, single-handedly, provided us with the family together time we so badly needed. Who knew one little vegetable could do all that?

Here are a few other summer highlights:

We toured Churchill Down, home of the Kentucky Derby. We took a back lot tour and had a great time exploring the museum.

Chloe in her jockey silks

We unexpectedly came across the Oscar Meyer Weinermobile on our trip to Nashville. After that, each day we looked for an unexpected blessing, our "weinermobile" moment.

We spent a weekend with an adoptive family at the Opryland Hotel. We hadn't seen our friends since China, so it was great fun to catch up.

Chloe and Ella became quick friends and their similar tendencies were uncanny.

We also had a special visit with Chloe's orphanage crib neighbor Alexandria. She is the one person Chloe still seems to miss from the orphanage. When they are together, you can just sense their special connection. Chloe would like for her to live next door.

Special Needs vs Non-Special Needs

2011-07-28T13:34:00.000-04:00

Yesterday was Chloe's 4th Birthday and we had a good time celebrating with her. We took her to Chuck E Cheese, which caused a great deal of jumping up and down excitement. There was however, also extra drama yesterday. Birthdays tend to be an emotional trigger for adoptive kids and so it was with Chloe.

There is a lot of debate in the adoption world, especially in Chinese adoption, about choosing a special needs child or one with no known medical condition. Because of the extended length of wait for a child with no known medical condition, up to 5 years now, many families chose to adopt either an older child or one with some physical challenges. Our family felt a NSN child (no special needs) was best for us and so Chloe entered our family at 8 months of age. At the time there were no obvious physical issues with her. We had seen a medical report, blood work, etc. and there was nothing obvious. Those of you who have followed our blog for some time, know that Chloe did indeed have some physical delays, needed ear surgery, had a parasite and inactive tuberculosis that required 9 months of medication. However, what I was very uneducated about were the emotional scares that come with an adoptive child. No child is truly without special needs. The trauma that has come from whatever circumstance placed them up for adoption has put them in their own "special needs" category. There was a long time that I waited for Chloe to be "normal" and like my other kids, but the truth is I can't change that Chloe was adopted. It's not that she isn't a complete, loved part of our family or any less my daughter than my biological kids, but Chloe will always be impacted by her past. It will "flavor" how she looks at life and impact her decisions and thought process. We have worked very hard for Chloe's emotional healing and she has come such a long way. It will be an ongoing process, as she can understand more from her past, there will be more healing to take place. Really the change has come from my expectations. I don't expect Chloe to someday act like she was never adopted and then consider myself a success as her parent. Adoptive kids are an investment, not only financialy, but in every part of life, but I can tell you first hand, that they are so worth it :) Chloe had no choice about the past that was handed to her, but struggles or not, she is still just as precious in God's eyes.

Jesus said, "And whoever welcomes a little child like this in my name welcomes Me." Matt. 18:5

Almost 4

2011-07-22T21:56:00.000-04:00

We celebrated Chloe's Birthday a little early this year. It's hard to believe she is turning 4, but she certainly is looking and acting like a 4 year old. She has become a fabulous Uno player and frequently beats us all.

Daddy built her a sandbox, which does not pack well in a suitcase for vacation over her birthday, so we celebrated early. None of the girls have had one since we watched our turtle sandbox going floating down the creek in a flash flood about 7yrs ago. It has been a nice new excursion for everyone.

Chloe also got a Nintendo DS like her big sisters. This should help with travel time :)

My Little Flower Girl

2011-07-08T12:05:00.000-04:00

It was one of those days when I just stop and realize how far we've come with Chloe. We began this journey 3 1/2 yrs ago with an 8 mon. old baby who was sick, had a parasite, inactive TB, and would not even sleep without being held. She has worked through developmental delays, severe separation anxiety, speech issues, attachment disorder, and sensory disorder. Today this lovely little lady walked across a bridge and down the aisle as flower girl in my nephew's wedding. If you had asked me even 2 years ago if we would ever reach this point, I probably would have said no, but through God's grace and healing a beautiful little girl has emerged

The bride arrived in a carriage and the guests got the bonus of a ride for themselves after the wedding.

Summer Time

2011-06-11T17:18:00.000-04:00

Summer time has arrived at our household and Chloe is so glad to have her sisters home again.

We got to spend a day at Kalahari Indoor Water Park. The largest one in the US.

Chloe, water lover that she is, loved the wave pool and every slide she was allowed to go on. Here she was waiting to catch a wave.

They had a great little kids play area with things to climb on and run through. Chloe is coming out of her shell and even made friends with some of the life guards.

Chloe has waited for a very long time, but finally we have baby kittens at our house. Anytime I wonder where Chloe is, I just need to look in the garage and I'll find her holding those kittens. It's a great new summer toy :)

Chloe continues to grow and change. It's hard to believe she will be 4 next month. She has been with our family for over 3 years and in therapy for nearly 2. She is making good progress with her speech therapist and will begin occupational therapy for her sensory disorder soon. We have signed her up for preschool in the fall and hope it will help with her continued separation anxiety. I think she will love the learning once she is comfortable. Sunday School has been the first separation hurdle as we continue to push and move her forward toward trust and independence.

Currently, Chloe is struggling with anger from her past abandonment. It boils over on the rest of the family often. Spreading the anger around her is a way to avoid dealing with the real issue. We are all working with coping techniques in the mean time, but your prayers for her emotional healing would be greatly appreciated. We are so grateful for the fantastic professional help we have received as we move Chloe toward emotional healing. God has provided the time and finances each step of the way and I am in awe of His continued love, intervention and provision for her and all of us.

Creepy Crawlies

2011-05-23T18:44:00.000-04:00

So the last blog post I refused to include a picture of Chloe petting a snake at the zoo. It was just too creepy for me. Saturday the girls were planting some flowers and guess what Chloe brought inside to me - a whole handful of worms. I quickly took her pictures and then said, "get them out of my house before you drop one!" This is the same girl who would not go down the slide because there were bugs outside. Go figure. Worms and snakes, no problem - flies, problem.

Chloe after watching the Karate Kid movie.

I am happy to report that Chloe's elbow will be fine and she will out grow the problem of the loose ligaments that allow her elbow to get dislocated so easily. We just have to be careful with it for a while. Woohoo, no more sling!

The Next Specialist

2011-05-19T09:35:00.000-04:00

I think every family has one child that is prone to accidents. It took our family until the 4th child until we got ours, but Chloe definitely qualifies. Back in Nov., Chloe dislocated her elbow when I lifted her funny. It was put back into place and healed quickly. She has since dislocated it 2 more times in the last week. The doctor at Stat Care made sure it was in place and put her arm in a sling. She wore it for about 72hrs., sleeping and all. We got the okay from our pediatrician to take it off, but tomorrow we see a pediatric orthopedic doctor to see if the ligaments have had too much damage and need to be repaired. Lets hope not. It was pretty funny to watch her adapt to using only her left arm. Not much fazed her except going to the bathroom. That one she never quite figured out how to do on her on.

We celebrated an 8th Grade Graduation in our family. It's hard to believe we will have one High School soon.

Chloe loves to sing when her big sister practices guitar.

Do you see the resemblance?

Chloe got to go along to the zoo on a home school field trip. It was rainy, but fun. I couldn't bring myself to post the pictures of Chloe petting the snake. They just gave me the shivers.

Mother's Day

2011-05-08T22:16:00.000-04:00

It's great to have a day that honors what moms do, but it's also a good reminder to me to be thankful for the girls I have been given. So often I get distracted by the struggles and how to fix them. I am truly blessed with my 4 beauties!

We have a family tradition that we have a food art competition when we celebrate Easter with my family. We take a variety food items and arrange them on a plate using squeeze icing as glue to make a picture. It's all just for fun. Chloe really got into it this year and I thought I'd share her own little creation. The theme this year was the zoo. Can't you see it? ;)

Three year olds are so fun to watch coloring Easter eggs! It takes very little to make her squeal.

Our older daughter played "minute to win it" for her birthday party last week. One of the games involved throwing rolls of toilet paper. Chloe had a great time retrieving all the "misses" and running them back for another try. Who knew someone so little could carry soooo many rolls of toilet paper? Who needs toys to have fun?

Chloe has gotten into doing her own hair "like her big sisters." She has learned to put rubber bands in all by herself. What she doesn't realize is that she misses the back completely. We had been watching America's Next Top Model the other night, so Chloe got all dressed up in her swimsuit, did her hair, and proceeded to pose for her photo shoot :)

This would be the mad side of Chloe that still shows up often. She's working through her life story dealing with the mad emotion now. Unfortunately, we are the ones who get the brunt of her anger. Thankfully this too shall pass as healing comes. Please keep praying.

What's Up Next?

2011-04-15T16:59:00.000-04:00

Chloe got into the action kneading the dough for cinnamon rolls.

Lots has been happening with Chloe lately. First of all, Praise the Lord, we got funding for a neuro feedback machine in our home. I started learning how to operate the system at our last therapy session and it should be up and running by the end of next week. I am anxious to see how much more effective it will be when it's used more often.

Chloe has begun to see a speech therapist. The clarity of her speech has been a concern for a while, but we've had a difficult time finding a therapist that recognizes the importance of early speech intervention for a child without an established first language like Chloe. Thankfully, we found Concorde Kids through a friend of ours and they work with many adoptive kids. Chloe is able to pronounce most of her letters, but when she speaks in a conversation, she leaves out middle syllable sounds. Instead of ki-tt-en, she will say ki-en. This will require weekly trips about an hour away. Thankfully, it isbe covered by our insurance because Chloe had trouble with her ears as a baby.

Also at Concorde Kids, Chloe saw an occupational therapist to test for Sensory Processing Disorder. We have been suspicious that Chloe had this problem for some time, but chose to work on other things first. Her symptoms include lots of climbing and crashing with no fear, smelling lots of things, and lots of rubbing on my skin. You may remember that last fall Chloe dislocated her elbow and gave no indication of pain. Lack of pain recognition seems like the most serious problem and our real motivation for having her assessed. Sensory Disorder in orphanage kids comes from lack of stimulation. They lay in a crib staring at the ceiling with little or no stimulation. Now Chloe literally craves stimulation, both in touch and in joint compression (crashing). Once we fulfill her need and fill her tank so to speak, her craving for stimulation will come down to a normal level. Weekly trips to O.T. with lots of crashing and stimulation should help greatly. If you have questions about Sensory Disorder feel free to email me at thebeachfamily@cs.com

Won't You Be My Love

2011-03-31T12:01:00.001-04:00

When the going gets tough as an adoptive parent, it can be tough to keep looking at the "bigger picture." I heard a song yesterday that helped me refocus my perspective. It's all about giving a lost child the freedom to know Jesus for eternity. Click the link to the song below and listen especially to the 2nd verse. I hope it's an encouragement to you too.

You Tube: Won't You Be My Love by Mercy Me

Adoption Issues Blog

2011-03-20T10:24:00.000-04:00

I have spent a lot of time on this blog talking about attachment and now I would like to begin sharing blog entries from Chloe attachment therapist, Arleta James. Adoption and attachment issues are very complicated and vary from child to child. I hope it will be helpful to other adoptive parents who struggle to show love to their kids each day. Perscriptives on Challenged Family Building

Mr & Mrs Beach

2011-03-17T16:38:00.000-04:00

   It is not uncommon for an adoptive child to get angry with their parents and blame them for taking them away from their birth parent(s). Because they don't understand the reality of abandonment, the truth is twisted and the rescuing parents become the "bad guys."
   Chloe had been on a slippery downhill slope of regression ever since we missed a session of her neuro feedback, the brainwave treatment that I have spoken about that's part of her ongoing therapy. It all came to a head last week when a very angry, stubborn Chloe had therapy. Arleta, Chloe's attachment therapist, proceeded to tell her that she needed to listen to Mom and Dad and act like a family girl.  Chloe seemed very angry and refused to speak, so Arleta talked to her about her life story, a sort of time line of events beginning with her abandonment and progressing to when she was adopted and traveled to America. As we talk about how she must have felt throughout this timeline, something will often trigger an emotion for Chloe. Her face may get red with anger or tears will well up in her eyes, sometimes her forehead will furrow or she'll start breathing quickly. Suffice it to say, it is always very obvious when we've hit on the right area of trouble.
   On a previous visit, Chloe had been very angry when she was told she was not going to live in China again. We knew this issue was still unresolved. Arleta asked Chloe if Mommy and Daddy were important to her (in an effort to motivate to make better choices). Chloe promptly said no we were not and when Arleta asked her to tell us, she sat up, looked each of us in the eye and said, "You are not important to me." The consequence she was given by Arleta, since we were not important to her, was that we were Mr & Mrs Beach to Chloe instead of Mom and Dad. This meant we still took care of her, but she did not get special loving privileges of being part of the family, candy, fun toys, choices, etc. since she rejected the family.
   Chloe continued to call us Mr & Mrs Beach and refuse to be part of the family for almost 3 days. Occasionally we would ask her if she had decided yet to be part of the family and she would just say no. Finally, Sunday night, Greg was putting Chloe to bed and asked her once again if she wanted to be a part of the family. She smiled and said yes.  Chloe then went on to tell both Greg and I that we are important to her and that she loved us. Once again our sweet, kind-hearted Chloe was back. She had let go of all the anger and had come to a place of acceptance again. What a relief to be back to "normal." Arleta did say it usually takes two times of this happening for it to really stick, so at some point I will probably have to be Mrs Beach again. :(
     On a lighter note, we celebrated Chinese New Year as a family a few weeks ago and here are some pictures.

Chloe's working on mastering her chopsticks. The little guy at the top holds them together to make it easier to learn. I think I need some like that. :)

Sleigh Ride at the Exotic Animal Farm

2011-03-04T11:34:00.000-05:00

We got to spend the wknd with the Brown family, our adoptive friends. There is an exotic animal petting farm a few minutes from our house, so we took an amazing sleigh ride through the animals.

We all huddled under very warm blankets and slipped and slid over the hills to feed the animals.

Chloe loved feeding the llamas and one of us even got caught in the spitting crossfire.

We got to meet George the 17ft. daddy giraffe in the barn where he was staying with about 6 other giraffes. He was huge! This is a 2nd story platform we're standing on to see him eye to eye.

While we waited for the sleighs to arrive, we got to visit with a baby zebra and giraffe. What an amazing experience!

We spent the rest of the wknd at a hotel with the Browns and enjoyed catching up. The girls got to go swimming and just had fun playing tag and hiding from everyone.

Alexandria and Chloe were orphanage buddies.

Chloe discovered goggles for the first time and is now swimming around with her head under the water.

What a fish! A little fear could be a good thing too :)

Daddy's Birthday

2011-02-21T09:20:00.002-05:00

We helped Greg celebrate his 40th birthday.

Chloe loves to imitate her sisters. Here she is dressed in her sisters tank top, t-shirt, and basketball shorts. She thought she was such big stuff.

We have a new addition to our living room. Chloe is always jumping off things (coffee table, cupboards, chairs, etc), so this mini trampoline is being put to good use on these cold days of winter.

Sunday School Milestone

2011-02-08T19:14:00.001-05:00

This worried little face is one we have gotten accustomed to. Chloe has made lots of strides in her emotional development, but being away from mom has continued to be a struggle. We recently started attending a new, large church and Chloe's therapist encouraged us to have her try Sunday School. Remember, this is the same little girl who still won't go upstairs to her bedroom without someone with her. Just talking about Sunday School in therapy with Chloe made her anxious. Well, 2 wks ago we took her to class for only 10 min. then came back and got her. She had a good time, but was glad to see us. This passed week, before we ever left for church she talked about how excited she was for Sunday School class. When Greg took her to class, she turned and looked at him as if to say, "what are you still doing here?" The best medicine for most separation anxiety is just to let them cry it out and they'll figure out your coming back, but the stakes are different with a child who has been abandoned. We have worked really hard to gain Chloe's trust and teach her object permanence (even though you can't see me I am still here). So you can understand why this is such a milestone for us.

On a separate note, we would appreciate your prayers about getting state funding approval for a home neuro feedback computer. Chloe has been getting special brain wave treatments for about 6 mon. as part of her therapy. It has helped to lower her anxiety level and she is sleeping easier. However, since we live nearly 2 hours from therapy, she can only get treatments every 2wks. Some kids have them 3 times a wk. The more treatments, the quicker the success rate. I would be able to do these treatment at home under the supervision of Chloe's therapist, however the system costs over $5000. We are applying this week for special funding from Ohio to cover our expense. It was be a real blessing.

New Year Changes

2011-01-27T14:02:00.000-05:00

You are looking at the big new change for our household. I am now officially a homeschooling mom to a 6th grader. She began with Connections Academy, an online academy, last week. It's been a bumpy few days, but we are thankfully beginning to settle in. This was a very specific calling from the Lord for us, so we will follow Him over the bumps and still be assured it was the right choice. God's ways are so much higher than our minds can understand and it is so tempting when things look different than anticipated to doubt.

Ready to dive into their first gift.

I think 3 is just about the best age at Christmas time.

Chloe intently watched and sang along as Uncle Craig played Christmas carols.

One of the older girls got a pinball machine, but guess who has figured out how to play? That is actually her score.

If you look at the clock on the wall, we celebrated New Years a little early with Chloe and sent her off to bed.

Snow Bunnies - Chloe begs to go out and play in the snow.

Merry Christmas

2010-12-20T11:48:00.001-05:00

Wishing your Family a Blessed Christmas

This Holiday Season, we pray that Christ is the center of all your celebrations. He is truly the most precious gift ever given.

My Chinese Acrobat

2010-12-15T20:22:00.000-05:00

We always knew that Chloe had good balance, but this is a little ridiculous! Yes those are roller blades on my 3 year old. She and Greg were playing in the basement and the next thing I knew, here came Chloe with roller blades on. She's been scooting around in the pink plastic Barbie ones with the training wheel, but this is a whole different ball game. Do you think we should purchase the Aflac Accident policy for next year? With stitches and a dislocation this year, I wonder what next year might hold.
Chloe has slowly but surely come out of regression. I heard, "I love you, Mommy" for the first time again this week. I didn't realize just how long it had been missing. We are working on making her bedroom a fun place to be and giving Chloe some ownership of it. Up to this point it was always just her sister's room that she was joining. We put a sign on the door with her name on it, moved some books upstairs, and moved her clothes from our bathroom to her bedroom. This all made Chloe quite angry and she still refuses to call it her bedroom. Obviously, we still have some work to do. She still sneaks into our bed at night when I'm sleeping too hard to notice. Otherwise, I carry her back to her own bed typically twice a night.

In other family news, if you know anyone interested a Bichon Frise, we are looking for a new home for our Nilla. She is a 4 1/2yr old registered female that has been fixed, has all her shots, and is house trained. She needs a new home, because we just don't give her the attention she deserves with our busy lives. Having an inside dog is much like having another child and we just need to simplify. Please feel free to email any questions to: thebeachfamily@cs.com

Fun With Friends

2010-11-23T18:34:00.000-05:00

Heather, Chloe, & Alexandria

We spent last weekend at an indoor water park with several adoption families.

It was so much fun to compare stories and see how the girls have grown. We all traveled together to China to adopt our girls in April '08.

Alexandria and Chloe played hide-n-seek for a long time. Their cribs were side by side in the orphanage.

Chloe was a daredevil as always and loved the slides, even the big ones.

Thankfully we are seeing more and more smiles from Chloe. Even though regression is still evident, she coming out.

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

Pain Tolerance

2010-11-19T09:22:00.001-05:00

Yesterday morning we made a quick trip to the doctor. Chloe woke up not using her right arm at all. The night before, I had picked her up by her wrists with her arms extended straight to hug her goodnight. She told Greg at bedtime that I had squeezed her arm too tight. There were no tears. During the night she cried and was kind of in distress, but no mention of pain. Two x-rays later, she was diagnosed with a dislocated radius and it was still out of place. A wiggle and a twist later, it was back in place and by afternoon she was using it again. At no point would Chloe actually tell us she was in pain! I can't believe she was walking around with her arm out of place of place and not screaming.

At therapy last night, I asked Arleta if this was common and she said it's sensory issue. Many kids who have been in an orphanage do not have a good sense of their body. They can be in really severe pain and yet pretend everything is okay. Occupational therapy can address this issue and we will be looking into this in the future.

Social Milestone

2010-11-12T08:50:00.000-05:00

It has taken a long time for Chloe's social development to catch up with her age. In Sept. we started taking her to Sunday School and she has really enjoyed it. This is the first classroom setting she has experienced, so she's learning to stay in her chair and listen to the teacher, etc. Chloe has always loved singing, so it was right up her ally to sing in church. She wasn't intimidated in least :)

I've been doing a lot of Christmas shopping online this year. Greg made a great 2 story club house for Chloe and her kitties out of some of the boxes. She's been playing in it for weeks.

Family Craziness!

A quick update on Chloe's regression. We had therapy this past Sat. and Chloe experienced new waves of grief. It was so sad to watch as emotions rolled over her and rocked her. As Arleta talked through her life story this time, fear was the emotion Chloe was feeling. In the past, the emotion associated with her history was sadness. Another layer has came off and now it is fear she is working through. The fear is from being abandoned in a crowd, from not recognizing any faces around her at the police station, new sounds, new smells, hunger, etc. As Arleta described what Chloe must have been feeling as an infant through those experiences, I could watch Chloe's face and see an emotion get triggered that she had experienced. Then the tears would come. Thankfully, as she cried, the emotion was released and she no longer has to carry it with her anymore. Although, we still see regression in Chloe, her eyes are "smiling" again and we know working through these newly uncovered emotions is the key to her moving forward. Sleeping and separation anxiety and still a struggle, but we will continue to tow the line and know that this too will pass.

Fall Changes

2010-10-19T10:22:00.001-04:00

It been a long time since my last post, so I'll try to get you caught up on the Beach family today. With school going, I have truly become a "soccer mom" again, transporting and cheering. Homework has taken it's toll on family time and added much stress. We have struggled with one of our girls in the public school system, so that has taken a lot of our time and attention. So much of this blog has focused on Miss Chloe and her transition to attachment in our family. The reality is, she is but 1 of my 4 beautiful daughters.

We celebrated my 40th birthday (don't worry, no tears were shed) at the Millennium Theater in Lancaster, PA last weekend. The story of Joseph was amazing and inspiring.

Tom Sharpes, a friend of Greg's from college, has been acting at the theater since 1994. He played Jacob, Joseph's father in the show. We had the special privilege of going back stage and talking to him for a few minutes between shows.

Sunday, we stopped in Hershey, PA on our way home and got our chocolate fix. The girls enjoyed the tour of how chocolate is made.

Unfortunately, this little angry face below has become all too common right now.

Regression has officially hit as a result of Chloe move out of our bedroom. She had been doing so well, but we knew it was a little too good to be true. It was obvious that regression would come and we saw little hints of it. Now it has arrived with all it's vengeance. Chloe is angry and disobedient. She is kicking and hitting her sisters again, throwing fits, crying like an infant, and struggling to control her emotions. Even Chloe's language has regressed. It is difficult to understand her again and her speaking is back to that "sing-songy" Asian feel. Chloe's sleep is very restless. Her therapist said her brain still thinks it's in the orphanage at night when she is alone in her bed. We hear her talking in her sleep and crying out. Sometimes she will kick and thrash around. Last Thurs., she called out and thrashed around 6 times between 12:30 and 3:00am. The lack of sleep isn't helping my ability to cope with it either. Thank the Lord this regression is only temporary and that there is a sweet, happy little girl under all of that trauma. I can't wait to see her again.

If any of you are struggling with attachment or behavioral issues and could use a listening ear, please feel free to email me directly: thebeachfamily@cs.com

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." Matt. 11:28

The Last Big Hurdle

2010-09-13T23:48:00.000-04:00

This day has been a long-time coming! After 2 1/2yrs., I am thrilled to say that Chloe has moved to her own bed out of our room. Saturday night was her first night sleeping upstairs in her sister's room and she did great. We are seeing the expected daytime regression. I asked Chloe how she liked sleeping upstairs and she said, "I don't like it. I need my mommy." Up to this point, she has been able to just open her eyes at night and be assured that I have not abandoned her. It takes a lot a trust to believe I will still be there if she can't see me. Thankfully, she has recently recovered pretty quickly from regressions and this is the last big hurdle we had to face in her healing.

This beautiful butterfly came out of its chrysalis today and Chloe had fun holding it while its wings dried.

I just had to take this picture. Chloe is giving her constant companion, Toby a ride in the back of her car.

Chloe had a chance to help her great grandma celebrate her 86th birthday this month.

As I look back over the passed year of therapy, I am reminded just how far Chloe has come. We started with a 2 yr old who wasn't sleeping, couldn't leave my side, was biting, hitting and screaming, had no emotional regulation, lived as independently as possible, and kept her loving, forever family at arms length out of fear.

Here's a link to a post at the beginning of our attachment journey:

http://beachbabyblog.blogspot.com/2009_06_01_archive.html

Thank you Lord for your healing touch in our lives!

Home Again

2010-08-13T12:03:00.000-04:00

The Smokey Mountains were a great, relaxing time of vacation.

We found a fantastic place to climb on the rocks. There were huge boulders in a cold mountain stream. Greg and the girls even found a natural slide carved into a rock to slide down.

Chloe turned 3 while we were gone. We found a mini Dora cake to celebrate.

We spent an awesome day at Dollywood's Splash Country. It's one of the top 10 water parks in the country.

Chloe loved this little water slide and went down by herself over and over again.

We got to spend a day with Audrey in Chattanooga. She's the little girl that was adopted from Chloe's orphanage, Qian Jiang, that looks a lot like Chloe. She is in the purple shirt above.

For those of you who don't remember their story, there is a link below with more details.

How Chloe and Audrey Found Each Other

Chloe did really well on vacation. We thought maybe she would have trouble with regression, but things went really smoothly. It was obvious when she was uncomfortable, but instead of just acting out, Chloe was able to tell us she was scared when asked and then we held her for a while. Crowds were the biggest struggle. It's a leftover from her abandonment sight that was a crowded public place. The next step is moving her out of our room and upstairs to her sister's room. We've juggle the other girls around and now that it's done, Chloe can begin napping in her new bed. Unfortunately, she has already started acting out as a result of her fear and we've only talked about her sleeping somewhere else. It promises to be a difficult transition, but thankfully this will be the last one. Sept. will be 2 1/2yrs that she's been sleeping in our room.

My Daddy!

2010-07-21T08:00:00.000-04:00

I haven't spoken very much about Chloe's relationship to her dad, because it's normal for an attachment kid to attach to their new mom first and then once that relationship is established, to move on to Dad attachment. It's the same pattern a newborn would follow. Chloe's relationship with Greg has been a rocky one. Though we've seen great strides in her behavior and attachment to me, she has kept her dad at arms length. She tolerates him because she has too, but Greg has put up with a lot of rejection from Chloe. Since our last therapy session 2 wks ago, Chloe has made great strides and truly has been the happiest, sweetest, girl we have seen yet.

The girls and I spent 4 days at a basketball tournament this week and Greg had to work. When we arrived home, she gave him an amazing reception. Chloe hugged his neck and said, "I missed you Daddy! I love you!" for the first time showing spontaneous affection to him.

Times of hardship help us to appreciate small blessings and we thank God for the continued healing of Chloe's heart.

Indians Game and Summer Fun

2010-07-11T19:37:00.000-04:00

We took Chloe to her first baseball game last week.

She loved cheering for the team and eating peanuts.

Peanuts only held her attention for so long and Chloe ended up watching Dora the Explorer on my ipod.

She tuckered out by about the 8th inning, but woke up to watch the fireworks from the car.

Summer brings lots of fun foods. Chloe loved the taste of corn on the cob, but promptly declared it too messy.

Chloe has really enjoyed having her sisters home from school. It's amazing to see the ways they can come up with to pretend.

Stitches and Too Much Drama

2010-06-24T14:21:00.000-04:00

No, that is not just marker on Chloe's forehead. She fell against the cement step in the garage and made a crater. Screaming child, gushing blood, it was quite a seen. We were just about to head for therapy, but instead we headed for ER. Chloe ended up with 2 internal stitches and 9 on top. She was a real trooper though. The real surprise came when she tore them open again the next day doing a somersault off the recliner and had to be restitched. That was almost too much for Chloe and Mom. I was in tears too by the time she was done screaming.

Thankfully, we kept her still enough until her stitches came out yesterday. That was no small task I might add. I didn't realize how much she loves to climb, jump, run, spin and tear around.

Chloe's stitches were just the end of a long line of events that began shortly after Labor Day weekend at our house. Our well pressure tank had to be replaced, the girls had a 4-wheeler accident (they are fine, but Chloe went to ER to get her leg checked out), our septic system backed up into basement soaking 1/4 of our finished basement, and after 5 inches of rain in an hour, our basement, rental property, and family business were all flooded. Thankfully, we are on the recovering side of things. We have learned a lot about ourselves and how to depend upon God through trauma and financial insecurity. Our basement is getting back to normal (minus a bunch of carpet), the business office is finally back on track this week with the cabinets back in place, drywalling done and new carpet installed Final repairs to our rental also happened this week. I feel like just shaking my head and saying, "Did that all really just happen to us?" But honestly, there were blessing all along the way and I'm thankful for God's noticeable presence through each trial.

"Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness." Lam. 3:22-23

Another Bed Change Commotion

2010-05-25T09:59:00.000-04:00

We are remodeling at our house and Chloe got in the action to help scrape wallpaper off the walls.

Once again the on-going saga of moving Chloe further from our bed has caused quite a commotion. She is still sleeping in our room, but she can't see us. Night time has been quiet, but Chloe has shown her disapproval during the day. She is as contrary as possible. Everything Chloe knows she is not supposed to do has appeared. In this regression, however, the screaming and biting has not come back like it did last time. This falls right in line with the premise that she will regress, but each time not regress as far, come out of it more quickly, and move further ahead once she has come through. So even in this regression, we see "progress." Please continue to pray for our sanity. It's hard to make your kids take "medicine" they need when it makes them grouchy all day.

Chloe is still playing with our 4 kittens. She has become so attached to them and they have become very calm kittties. This one is just watching her play DS.

Play & Pretend Time

2010-05-10T19:24:00.000-04:00

This time I just wanted to post some "regular" playtime pictures of Chloe. It's so much fun to see how her little mind works now that she's pretending.

Chloe is showing off her huge stack of duplos. She had to get a stool to reach the top.

We had 4 kittens born in our garage the day before Easter and Chloe has been mothering them daily.

We thought this would be a good place for Chloe to hang out - dare devil that she is.

Last night the girls were playing hair salon and Chloe got "hilites" from her sisters.

We had a great day with Alexandria's family from Pittsburgh. She and Chloe had cribs next to each other in the orphanage and are still buddies.

One of the girls was sick last week and had a nest on the couch. Chloe thought this looked like a good idea and made one for herself too on the recliner. She set it all up herself and layed down to play with her Leapster.

It is a pleasure to share all these normal 2 yr old play ideas. We don't take "normal" for granted. I should however add, that there are still many peculiar things thrown in the mix also. One day I had heard the washing machine stop and when I went to put the towels in the dryer, I found Chloe pulling the towels out of the washer and putting them in the dryer. She then proceeded to empty the lint from the dryer, close the door and turn it to the right setting. It just makes me shake my head to think what all she notices. Her lack of trust still motivates her to new levels of independence. Now that she's older, it just appears in funny places.

A Giraffe Story

2010-04-23T21:53:00.000-04:00

Back in February, Greg took the girls to a local exotic animal petting farm for a sleigh ride.

Chloe got to feed llamas, emu and other animals.

There were several new baby giraffes they got to feed. One in particular loved Chloe's red coat and even licked her face.

Ever since then, Chloe has had a great affinity to giraffes.

We bought her a stuffed giraffe for Easter and it's the first stuffed animal she consistantly hugs and sleeps with.

Chloe chose to name her giraffe Aye (I-E). This is the Chinese name for nanny. We had not heard Chloe say this word since she was little. At night time she would wake up calling for Aye. Out of all the words she could have chosen to name her new buddy, she chose one of the few Chinese words she knew. She has only named 2 other things. Both dolls have Chinese names also: Mei Mei (little sister) and Min Min (Chloe's orphanage name). Sometimes the smallest actions give us a glimpse into what's really going on inside. WhenI passed this information on to her attachment therapist, her comment was "well it looks like we still have some work to do." We rejoice every day for the progress Chloe has made in the last 8 months, but we also see that she is clinging to the country she left behind. Please continue to pray that God would mend the pieces of Chloe broken heart.

Happy Gotcha Day 2010

2010-04-13T22:29:00.000-04:00

It's hard to believe that it was 2 years ago today that our little China beauty was placed in our arms.

We celebrated at the Chinese Buffet tonight with Papa and Grandma.

Chloe thought it was great fun to try using chopsticks.

We gave her Chinese/English ABC book and a drum that we brought with us from China.

When I look back at that angry little face from 2 years ago and now look at this bright smiling one from today I can't help but reflect on this journey. It has been one with many trials, but God has brought together the pieces to heal Chloe's heart. Even though the road has been hard at times, we will all be better for having traveled it.

Happy Easter

2010-04-06T09:57:00.000-04:00

I hope you had a good Easter holiday. We had a fun time coloring eggs, hunting Easter baskets and spending time with family. I must confess though that we colored eggs while Chloe was sleeping. Sat. we took the girls to an egg hunt where they hid 5000 eggs. It sure looked like a lot of eggs, but would you believe they were all snatched up within 2 min.? Thankfully, they had the kids divided by age, so Chloe didn't get trampled by the big kids. I pray though that your holiday was about more than just bunnies, candy and hard boiled eggs. We celebrate the resurrection of our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ who conquered death once and for all through His resurrection.

Chloe and Cousins

We got to spend a few days visiting my dad and Grandma Loretta in FL 2 wks ago. We were a little concerned that Chloe's first airplane ride since China would cause her some trouble, but thankfully she did great.

The girls loved the beach and swimming in the pool. Even though the temperature was a little cool, we northerners didn't mind :)

What a difference 2ft. can make!

2010-04-02T08:22:00.000-04:00

What a difference 2 ft. can make in a girl. Sat. night we moved Chloe's bed away from ours. She can no longer touch me when she wakes up at night. Surprisingly, night time has been pretty much the same. It's the day time that the claws have come out again. Much like the last sleeping move, Chloe is letting her anger with the situation known during the day. Immediately on Sun. she began hitting, pinching, and screaming all over again. It's just one of those storms we have to weather to bring her to ultimate heart healing. Chloe really has been improving with her bonding. Eye contact comes regularly without any persuasion.

A New Look

2010-03-11T14:35:00.000-05:00

Just had to do a quick post with pictures of Chloe and her new haircut. She just can't understand why I can't do pig tails anymore:)

Making Progress

2010-03-09T09:11:00.000-05:00

Much of the month of February was spent at basketball tournaments and in the snow. We are enjoying sunshine and nearly 60 degrees in Ohio. What an encouraging change! Chloe loved being out in the snow, but I'm not missing driving on those slippery roads to therapy. Our second daughter was diagnosed with migrains and ADD within the past 2 months, so she has now also begun neurofeedback with Arleta, Chloe's therapist. That makes a total 3 kids now seeing the therapist every 2 weeks. The neurofeedback is really beginning to work well for our oldest's ADD and we have high hopes for our second also.

Greg had a business trip for a few days in Feb. and I spent a weekend at a youth camp with our oldest. Chloe weathered the absences remarkably well. I thought it may send Chloe into regression again, but my absence actually strengthened her relationship with Greg. When I came home, she sang the "Mommy's Always Come Back" song from our adoption cd.

The next step with Chloe is to move her bed several feet from our bed so she can't touch me at night. Chloe still likes to hold my hand when she wakes up at night. We hope to move her today or tomorrow. Her anger is still increased and she seems more intense and short with her sisters. These are all side effects of her sleep changes. She feels insecure and "rejected" because she can't sleep with us anymore. It just all takes time and sleeping independantly will eventually take Chloe to a final place of attachment security. This is the last big hurdle.

As a side note, Chloe begins speech therapy tomorrow. Arleta has been recommending it for about 9 months, but the need was finally recognized by our Help Me Grow rep and we are now able to move forward with it. Chloe, although she is speaking a ton, is very difficult to understand. She has a Chinese accent and speaks with a very sing-songy style. We were doing pretty well understanding her, but her vocabulary has increased so dramatically that we just can't keep up with what she might say. I'll try to give you some more information about early influences on speech development next time. God bless!

Snow Days and Normal 2's

2010-02-09T20:22:00.001-05:00

We woke up Sat. morning in Ohio with 14" of snow on the ground. Everything had pretty much come to a stand still. It was the most snow we have had at one time in at least 20 years. Definitely one for the record books.

Our family had reservations at a local hotel to spend the night on Sat. and go swimming, but as we started digging threw all the snow just to get to the car, we had our doubts of getting out at all. There was a truck with a blade 3 miles away at work waiting to be used, but we couldn't get out the driveway with our 4-wheel drive.

We all gave a big cheer when Uncle Bob came to our rescue after about an hour of digging by hand.

All 4 girls had a great time climbing the 5ft. pile of snow cleared from our driveway.

Of course, sledding was a must. Chloe loved to ride on an inner tube behind the 4 wheeler with her big sister.

Chloe really likes puzzles. So when our family was putting together a big one, she thought she should be able to put some pieces together too.

We are greatful that Chloe continues to make progress. She has moments of sleeping better, only waking a few times a night. Also, in talking with Arleta at her last therapy session, we discovered that Chloe was actually displaying some normal "terrible 2's." It took me a few moments to digest what had just been said. I think I had given up hope to hear that Chloe's issues were just normal for her age. She has come such a long way recently. You may remember us talking about Chloe's cry sounding like that of an infant, even though she was 2 years old. This was an indicator of her emotional age verses her chronological age. Last week we heard a new cry. A cry that sounded like a toddler.

As I reflect on what this adoption journey has been for our family, not only have we been blessed with a beautiful new daughter. But God has seen fit to bring change in each member of our family through Chloe. We have found a new treatment for ADD through Chloe's therapist for our oldest daughter. A gift that will truly be life-changing for her. For each of the rest of us, the stressful transition has brought many hidden issues to light. As painful as forced change can be, we will all be better for it. Thanks to our Chloe!

Can I Have a Nap Please?

2010-01-18T10:41:00.000-05:00

The sleeping transition has officially begun. This is Chloe proudly sitting on her new bed next to ours. It has been over a year that Chloe has slept with us, so this was a big change. She is very happy to have her own bed and has not fussed about sleeping in it. However, staying asleep is another story. Chloe thinks that she has to been touching us at all times to make sure we are still there. Last night Chloe woke up 3 times before 1:00am. Come afternoon, I need a nap as badly as she does. In the long run, learning that we are still there even though she can't feel us will go a long way toward her trust and bonding. Please just pray for our perseverence in the mean time.

Last night we played some games as a family. If you notice, Chloe is not very happy in the background. She is learning that she is not always the center of attention and she needs to play quietly while Greg and I focus on the other kids sometimes. So many lessons to learn - so little time.

Chloe and Buddy the cat. Now that it's cold outside, he seems to slip in whenever the door opens.

Christmas and New Year Fun

2010-01-02T11:29:00.000-05:00

We had a great time celebrating Christmas with our families this year.

We spent the day before Christmas with Greg's family. We were excited to spend some time with his grandparents and sing some songs. Chloe is showing a picture to her great grandma.

Chloe warmed up to Greg's dad for the first time. It's fun to watch her begin to accept more people.

We always sleep in the living room as a family on Christmas Eve and these were the 4 smiling faces Christmas morning.

Chloe was a pro at opening gifts this year, but of course being 2, struggled to let others have a turn too.

My family was at our house for the day on Sat. This is the yearly grandchildren picture in front of the tree.

The girls each had a friend over for New Year's Eve, but Chloe had to celebrate a little early and get to bed.

We just had to snap this picture of Chloe on New Years morning. She was sitting at the table pretending to talk on her cell phone and drink coffee.

I wanted to take a moment to praise God for the this blessed Holiday Season. We have had a lot of special family time together and Chloe is beginning to come out of her regression. Thankfully, time seemed to pass slowly during this school break and we were all healthy. Our times together were really precious and I pray that we have "filled our tanks" in preparation to head back to the craziness of the girls in school and the regular routine.

http://www.samesamecd.com/

As a final note, I wanted to put a plug in for a great cd for adoptive kids. We got it for Chloe for Christmas and I'm absolutely thrilled with it! Some of the songs include: "This is My Forever Family", "Same/Same", "The Real Deal", and "Mama Always Comes Back." All the songs address struggles adoptive kids might have in a fun musical way like someone asking where their "real" parents are or why they don't look the "same" as their family. My favorite and the reason we bought the cd was for "Mama Always Comes Back." Chloe is always fearful that I won't return and so now I remind her that Mama always comes back and she starts singing the song. It's a great reminder for her.

Christmas Tree, Christmas Cookies and Fun

2009-12-21T17:27:00.002-05:00

What a crazy time of the year. Between basketball schedules and homework, it's been tough to sweeze in some Holdiay fun. Chloe wasn't sure if she liked hanging ornaments on the tree or eating homemade Christmas candy better. Her smile looks a little goofy because her mouth was full.

Making Christmas cut-out cookies was quite an undertaking with a 2 year old this year. How many hands do they have anyway? Lets just say that we iced and decorated them while she was sleeping :)

Chloe is looking at her favorite book "Brown Bear, Brown Bear." She almost has it memorized.

I wanted to end this blog post with a link to a YouTube video of the song called "Merry Christmas." It features an adoption video created for the Third Day tour. The song was written by Brad Avery, who has adopted from China. Click the song title below:

Third Day - Merry Christmas

May God richly bless you all this Holiday Season and I pray there will many reminders of the precious gift of God's Son Jesus Christ that was given on that first Christmas.

Friends, Thanksgiving, and Christmas Trees

2009-12-12T07:59:00.000-05:00

We had a nice time with family at Thanksgiving. Greg's family was at our house for brunch on Thanksgiving day and then we celebrated with my family the following Sat. Chloe especially enjoyed making Lego towers with her cousin Jared.

Everyone was together in my family except my nephew Mitch who was in NY with his girlfriend's family.

We enjoyed a windy 60 deg. to cut our Christmas tree this year

November also brought a special visit from Alexandria and her family. She was in a crib next to Chloe at the orphanage and in our travel group. Her visit came at a really good time. Chloe continues to learn her life story through attachment therapy and was particularly emotional about a pictures of Alexandria in a crib at the orphanage. The other babies were the only "family" Chloe ever knew and they were suddenly just gone. Working through her feeling from her time at the orphanage should be the last big emotional milestone preventing her attachment. However, it is the big one. Chloe spent the most time at the orphanage and it makes sense that there are the most emotions associated with it. She continues to be in regression, screaming, biting, and doing all she can to reject our family right now, but we know that this too will pass as her heart heals. Many kids in therapy struggle during the Holdiay Season. They respond to their mom's stress. If Chloe has not pulled out of this regression by mid Jan., we will do a 3 day intensive therapy session with her to help her move forward.

My thoughts today are for all you other adoptive mom's out there who not only are stressed from the season, but are struggling with our little ones (and big ones) behaviour. May God grant us all the patience and wisdom to continue to parent with unconditional love and to see them as His precious creation without the baggage of their past.

Family Photos

2009-11-18T16:11:00.001-05:00

Last night we were scheduled to take a family photo for Christmas. Chloe had done really well the previous week for her own pictures, so we were not anticipating any problems. I had spent a lot of time finding coordinating clothes and then getting everyone ready last night took a couple of hours. I was pretty exhausted by the time we got to the photo shoot. As you know, when you take a group photo, it's takes time to get everyone arranged and the youngest one always gets placed in the group last. This was very disturbing to Chloe. She just walked around us and said, "Mommy, my turn?" There were almost tears in her eyes, she was so worried she would be left out. Eventually her patience just wore out and she did everything she could do to disrupt the session. Chloe stuck out her tongue. She tickled us. She turned upside down. She ran away and eventually, she just cried refusing to wear her outfit or sit in the picture at all. I was going back and forth between pittying her because she didn't seem to be able to emotionally handle the situation and being furious because she was doing everything opposite she was being told. Finally, the photographer said she had gotten enough shots and she could do a head swap on some of the photos so Chloe is looking at the camera. Thank goodness for modern technology. Needless to say, we were all spent by the time we got home. I can't wait to see the pictures though and I'll try get permission to post some on our site as soon as possible.

I am happy to say the Attachment and Bonding Seminar we hosted on Sat. went very well. We had over 40 people there and we hope to continue offering education to parents who are struggling. So many adoptive families face unexpected frustrations and we want to do all we can to give them hope and help.

2 Steps Forward, 1 Step Back

2009-11-11T10:17:00.000-05:00

At our last therapy session, Arleta suggested it was time to work on getting Chloe out of our bed. Yah!!! I must say that this caused me a significant amount of apprehension at the same time. For a little history, Chloe has had a lot of sleep issues from the first day we got home and it was really the driving force behind us finding ABC of Ohio. She has always been a light sleeper and very restless. This is caused by her anxiety and need to be in control. Chloe seems to sleep with "one eye open" so she doesn't miss anything, never really getting into deep sleep. Light sleep was important at the orphanage so she didn't miss anything, like a bottle, but she still hasn't transitioned out of it to be a sleeping "family girl." For a little over a year, Chloe has slept with Greg and I. This has certainly had an impact on us, but at the time it was a last resort to get some more sleep. Chloe was waking so often at night, we ended up sleeping next to her mattress on the floor most of the time.

My apprehension about getting her out of our bed came from Arleta's warning, "this will probably make Chloe regress." I know that regression is a normal and necessary part of the bonding process, but a part that I have certainly been dreading. Regression allows the brain to catch up and fill in the missing pieces caused by rapid forward development. Did you ever notice how a child who is working hard to learn to walk will stop talking for a short time? Little did I know, we were about to hit regression anyway. We never even had a chance to rearrange our bedroom to accommadate another mattress before "old" Chloe was back. I had truly forgotten what it was like. She is back to screaming, demanding, running away from me, wiggling all the time (fllight mode), and being very defiant. I was shopping with several of the girls last week and she screamed at them a couple of times for just looking at her. Children have such a delightful waying of keeping us humble. Chloe is even resisting eye contact during holding therapy again.

Thank goodness I have Arleta to call during these times of frustration. I am much calmer after speaking with her and I know that this too will pass. The great thing about regression is that once Chloe is passed it, she will not need to regress that far again and will probably have made even further strides forward. In the mean time, I'll take a deep breath and know it's only for a time.

Chloe and her buddies had a front row seat in the basement as her sister practiced for their Christmas program.

Bath time is Chloe's absolute favorite. Sometimes she like to take a bath in the laundry room wash tub instead of the bathtub. Chloe calls it a "Nilla bath," because it's where we give our dog Nilla her baths.

As a closing note, please remember us in prayer on Sat., Nov 14th. Chloe's therapist will be speaking to about 40 local adoptive parents who want to know more about attachment and bonding issues. The seminar is from 1-4pm and we pray that it will bring hope and help to a lot of struggling parents.

What's in a Name?

2009-10-27T22:35:00.001-04:00

As you listen to Chloe speak, there is one particular word that is noticeably missing from her vocabulary. It's her name "Chloe." She can say almost anything you tell her, but whenever you ask her who is in the picture or in the mirror, she always responds "me." At Chloe's last therapy session, I spoke to Arleta about this and she too thought it seemed odd. It turned out to be quite a session. The whole goal of the 90 minutes was to get Chloe to say "My name is Chloe." She would say everything except Chloe. This is the first time that Chloe has completely refused to do something in a therapy session. It seemed to be a hold out of some sort that she wouldn't acknowledge her American name. She was beginning to embrace her family and language, but not her name. Chloe doesn't even seem to have a response to her Chinese name.

Well today we had a break through. I was holding Chloe to put her to sleep this afternoon, so I tried prompting her to say her name. This is something I've tried repeated since the last therapy session with no success. Sure enough, today when I had Chloe repeat after me "my name is..." Chloe came out too! I had her repeat it several times to make sure it wasn't just a fluke, but each time there was a very distinctive Clo-eee. I have continued to ask her this evening what her name is and she continues to answer Chloe, with an occasional "me" thrown in with a giggle. Praise the Lord for little breaks throughs like this one. We need the encouragement to keep clodding through the bonding process. Who knows why it was so difficult for Chloe to embrace and accept her American name. The complexity of the mind created by our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ is beyond fathom.

This family picture was taken at Greg's 20th Year High School Reunion in Atwater, OH. We were able to spend the night at his parent's house for the first time since the adoption as a family. Chloe did pretty well sleeping away from home and has really begun to reach out and accept others outside our immediate family. This makes her grandma and grandpa very happy.

Family Time and Question Words

2009-10-12T22:00:00.000-04:00

With the report from our family session of therapy in mind, we have been trying hard to focus on healing. We took advantage of a break in our kids soccer schedule and spent a weekend away as a family.

We spent lots of time together just playing and having fun. Chloe enjoyed going to the zoo for the first time. Doesn't the gorilla in this picture just look like another member of the family? :)

Chloe, as usual, was apprehensive when she saw the suitcases come out and sensed that we were going somewhere. Much of her life has been about leaving, so spending time away from home is scary to her. She's just not sure if she'll be left again. As we drove, she asked often if we were going to go home again. It's heartbreaking to realize the type of fear and uncertainty she must live with each day. Chloe still wants to wear shoes every time I do, so she's sure to go along. Thankfully, once we reached the hotel, she settled in and did really well. It was a blessed time for our family.

We are seeing really good progress in Chloe's attachment. There is just a sense of ease about her that was never present before. She is talking more willingly and even began tattling on her sisters this week. Question words were also new for her recently. It was just a part of her vocabulary that had been noticeably absent. They suddenly appeared this week. I'm beginning to feel her attach to me. It's becoming more difficult for Greg to work with her, but we're told this is normal. A child can only really bond to 1 person at a time, so unfortunately, Greg will just have to wait his turn. Although, he's excited to see progress, I think it's hard to continue to feel rejection from her. Chloe seems to genuinely want to spend time with me now instead of just putting up with me. The way she says "Mommy" has a different feel to it now. It warms my heart every time I hear it. We are bracing ourselves for the inevitable setback that accompanies such significant progress. From what we've been told, it is very normal and essential for the brain's growth and development. So as I close tonight it is with this prayer in mind - "Oh Lord, please give me the peace of mind to enjoy each day for what it is and the stamina to withstand the inevitable setbacks that are yet to come."

What Are Implicit Memories?

2009-10-12T11:08:00.002-04:00

Arleta James, Chloe's attachment therapist, keeps a blog about attachment issues. She recently posted 2 articles that give a great explanation of why kids who have had a traumatic past (abandonment, neglect, orphanage care, etc.) may continue to struggle even though adopted at a young age. I hear so often, "But you adopted Chloe at 8 months, she can't remember any of that." And I must admit, this was my line of thinking before we met Chloe too. It just didn't make any sense. We can't remember anything from when we were infants, so how can her early history have an impact? Arleta's articles will shed some light on this subject and I would strongly encourage adoptive parents to take a look. You might be surprised at the new understanding you gain about your child.

Part 1:http://perspectivespress.com/blog/2009/09/28/implicit-memories-the-roots-of-todays-behavioral-challenges-part-one/

Part 2:http://perspectivespress.com/blog/2009/09/30/implicit-memories-the-roots-of-todays-behavioral-challenges-part-two/

4 Girls in Need

2009-09-17T14:11:00.004-04:00

4 needy girls + 2 overwhelmed parents = our crazy family of 6

Our whole family went to counseling with Chloe this past Monday and it was very eye opening. I've heard repeatedly that adoption will bring to light any issue a person may have. This has proven to be true in our family too. Our other 3 girls have certainly been affected by the stress and transition of the last 18 months. There have been many changes that have had an impact. I have 1 girl who is sad about it, 1 girl who is mad about it, but in denial, and 1 girl who was too embarrassed to show any emotion and instead used non-verbal communication to get my attention through nearly the entire session. I though life was busy enough with an unattached 2 year and 3 kids playing on different soccer teams. Quite frankly, I am just plain overwhelmed. How can I possibly meets the needs of all of my children, maintain my marriage, and at some point find time to take a shower! I am so thankful to be working with Artleta, who is an expert on bringing an adoptive child into an existing family. However, this doesn't change our present circumstances. I ask for your prayers for wisdom. How do we choose what is most important? Which child should have my attention first? How do we divide up our time? When do I take time away from them in order to be a better parent? How will giving more attention to the other girls have an impact on Chloe? These are all questions for which I have no answers. So we too will be praying for clarity of thought and leaning on the promise that God will provide the grace we need to fulfill His calling.

"If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him." James 1:5

"But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles: they will run and not grow weary, they will walk not be faint." Isaiah 40:31

Please be praying for a little girl named Mia. She was adopted as a special needs child 2 months ago and has undergone 2 open heart surgeries. There have been a lot of complications and the family would appreciate your prayers. Their blog is: http://miamakes6.blogspot.com/

Glimpses of a New Girl

2009-09-08T09:17:00.008-04:00

Chloe and wedding bubbles

Yes, this is our little busy body holding still and taking in her world, a vital step in her growth process. Calmness had almost never happened before therapy began and was one of the first signs of change. Change that is becoming evident to others around us also.

For the first 2 weeks after our intensive bonding therapy, Chloe very strongly rejected me (Mom). She wouldn't have anything to do with me if Greg was available. That was pretty tough to take. It was like giving your child medicine they needed and then having them angry with you all day long for how bad it tasted. According to Arleta, our therapist, because Chloe needs to bond to me first and I am the one doing the daily holding therapy, she was doing all she could to resist. Also, Chloe knows that I am not her China mom and she is trying very hard not to attach to me. Thankfully, her rejection began to fade over the last week. There was even one time last week I was rocking her to sleep and she did all she could do to get my attention.

We have also tackled Chloe's talking issue. She is no longer allowed to use non-verbal communication since it was a form of control. Chloe is capable of saying over 100 words, but she would much rather point and grunt. However, the strategy has been working and just last week, her talking started to kick in. We laugh almost daily at what she chooses to say. It certainly has made church a lot more challenging and noisy :) Chloe was very frustrated for a couple of weeks, yelling "no" a lot when she wasn't speaking clearly enough to be understood. Thankfully that too has eased some.

Unfortunately, true to the 2 steps forward and 1 step back that we were warned about, Chloe has once again become very insistent on self-soothing by sucking on her arm like she did in the orphanage. Initially, she had let this habit go relatively easily, but now it's back with a vengeance. We also continue to work on Chloe's aggression toward her sisters through holding. She gets held to help her calm down and then she is required to apology and do something nice in return.

We go back for family therapy next week. Chloe is not the only one effected by this family transition. The stress of the last 18 months has had a big impact on each of us. Arleta will help us recognize just what those effects have been on our other girls. We were told that adoption intensifies any problem you might have. That is obviously very true.
Chloe got to go camping with our family for the first time this past weekend.

She loved the pontoon boat ride.

I'm sure this was only the first of many trips to the camp ground. We had a great time.

Travel Group Reunion

2009-08-25T10:59:00.006-04:00

With everything else that has been going on, I haven't taken the time to post pictures from the July Travel Group Reunion that we hosted in our area. Chloe, Heather, and Alexandria are all from Chongqing and were adopted together.
We spent Friday evening getting reacquainted around the camp fire.

Chloe and Heather became fast friends as her family camped in our woods.

Saturday morning we all took a wagon ride at an exotic animal farm.

The kids all loved seeing and feeding the animals right from the horse drawn wagon.

Chloe even got to feed some giraffes with a little help from Daddy.

We all enjoyed a good Amish cooked meal for lunch.

After naps, we all had pizza and cake at our house to wrap up the day.

It was so great to spend time with others who have shared in this amazing journey with us. It seemed as though we were able to pick up right where we left off even though it had been 15 months since we'd been together. There was a special comfort level between the little girls that was noticeable and it only cemented our determination to keep them in touch.

Attachment Therapy

2009-08-07T22:00:00.008-04:00

    I am sitting down tonight feeling totally inadequate to try and explain all that has happened this week, but first a little statistic: 2/3 of the 6,000,000 adopted kids in the United States have moderate to sever attachment issues, many of which go unrecognized. This is a staggering number of children and families dealing with significant emotional issues and almost no one to help.
    We have been going through 3 hours of therapy a day with an attachment specialist for the last 5 days. Much of that time consisted of what you see above. However, it has taken most of the week for Chloe to willingly give me eye contact even for a few seconds at a time. This position to her is threatening and intimate. It brings back feelings and emotions that are hard to deal with. We've been working to help Chloe cope with her abandonment and life story. Her birth mom abandoned her at 2 days of age, after which she was taken to a police station and then to an orphanage where for 240 days she spent approx. 20 out of 24 hours each day staring at the ceiling from her crib. She was often hungry and no one responded when she cried, so eventually she just stopped crying for her needs. Because of a lack of sensory stimulation, she would hit herself on the head and suck on her hand to go to sleep. When we were found as her family, she road 6 hours in a van for the first time with people she didn't know. She was not fed and then suddenly she was handed to 2 people who looked different, smelled different, and sounded different. Within 2 weeks she was flown to a new country away from anything or anyone she had ever known. Not exactly a fairytale story. It's understandable why Chloe is traumatized by her past.
    I wanted to take a moment to try explain about 2 different kinds of memories our brain makes. One type of memory is called explicit, which is the type of memories you can recall. The first day of school, would be a good example. The brain also stores implicit memories which are emotional responses and feelings that happen subconsciously. These implicit memories are being recorded in the brain even before babies are born and these are the type of memories that Chloe is struggling with. As a newborn, when your parent speaks to you, it causes your brain to process these implicit emotions/feelings and release them. In Chloe's situation, there was no one directly speaking to her that allowed all the emotions she was dealing with to be released. So now, by talking through what Chloe must have been feeling during her first traumatic 8 months brings those feelings back out and eventually her brain can then let go of them. The goal is for Chloe to have less and less reaction each time the therapist talks through her story. It was absolutely heart breaking this week to watch Chloe's eyes fill with tears and her lip quiver when she was told that her China mom was not coming back to get her. She so clearly understood that it was astounding.
    There are so many more details I could share and if you have specific questions, feel free to email me or post a comment and I'll get back with you. We are working on eye contact with Chloe for 20min. twice a day, in addition to encouraging her to talk. She is capable of saying a lot of words, but resists, choosing to point and grunt. That will be coming to end. Also, we are working on her aggression towards her sisters. The therapist said the next 2 weeks or so Chloe will be a real bear once she realized this was not just a temporary change. We go back to therapy every 2 weeks where we'll continue to desensitize Chloe to her life story, in turn allowing her to embrace her new life with our family.
    I feel like I need to include a few resources today for you adoptive parents. Our therapist, Arleta James, has written an amazing book about integrating an adoptive child into an existing family. I think every adoptive family needs this book! It is full of really practical information.
You can purchase the book at: http://www.perspectivespress.com/productlist or on Amazon.com

Arleta also writes a biweekly adoption blog that has lots of great tools in it. You can find the blog at: http://www.perspectivespress.com/blog

    Lastly, I'd like to include a resource for you parents who are wondering if your child has attachment issues. It is part of the application process for ABC of Ohio to determine attachment issues. Children under 5: http://www.abcofohio.net/under5.pdf   Children over 5: http://www.abcofohio.net/overfive.pdf   If you have any questions or concerns, please contact ABC of Ohio. They treat more internationally adopted kids with attachment issues than any other clinic in the country.

Thank you for your prayers this week, they have truly been a blessing.

Therapy Week

2009-08-02T21:00:00.000-04:00

This is the week we are scheduled to begin intensive attachment and bonding therapy with Chloe. We have been anticipating it for a long time and yet we go into this week with a little apprehension as well. Change is always hard, even when it's for the better. If you change your eating habits to eat healthier, it's good for you, but the process is challenging. So I think this process will be for Chloe and all of us. Even though there are challenges about where she is right now, we all have adapted to it and it's become somewhat "normal."

Tonight I am reminding myself to keep my eye on the prize and see the bigger picture. To have a little girl who can look me in the eye and return the love we've been pouring into her will be truly amazing, no matter what the journey may need to be to get there. To heal the wounds and baggage left from her abandonment and orphanage experience will allow Chloe to have healthy relationships others and most importantly, the ability to put her trust in her Savior Jesus Christ.

Please keep our family in your prayers this week. Therapy is from 10am-1pm each day. I'll update again soon and let you know how it's going.

Happy 2nd Birthday Chloe!

2009-07-27T21:10:00.004-04:00

We celebrated Chloe's 2nd Birthday with family this past weekend.
She got to open her presents tonight from our family - a talking baby and a car of her very own.

One of Chloe's new found foods is corn on the cob.

As I reflect back on all this past year has held, there has been much learning on Chloe's part and ours as her parents. We are so grateful to God for all He has taught us through her. Now we look forward to what this next year will bring. Next week we begin intensive attachment and bonding therapy for Chloe. We pray that this will bring about a new trust and bonding for her that she has yet to experience. The independence that we now come to expect from Chloe is only a symptom of her troubled heart and inability to allow someone to care for her. As you think of Chloe in the weeks to come, please pray for a deep healing that only God can bring. He created her and only He knows what will heal her heart. If you would like more information on attachment and bonding, please see the link to ABC of Ohio on the right.

A Visit with Florida Friends

2009-07-13T21:32:00.011-04:00

We had a great opportunity to visit some other adoptive families in our travel group on our vacation in Florida. Emma and her brother Josh at the pool with Chloe. Emma is from Chloe's orphanage.
Roselyn is from a neighboring orphanage in Chongqing.

The 3 girls together for supper at Macaroni Grill. Our reservation was for 12, 5 adults and 7 kids. I think the waiters were drawing straws to see who had to serve us.

The Hannemann Family

Rosie and her mom Retta

We caught up with the Kaplin family in Jacksonville and had a great time while the kids played on the playground at Chick-fil-A.

We also got to spend some time with family in Sarasota. Chloe loved her first beach visit at Siesta Key.

We got reacquainted with a Chinese shop owner that Greg had spoken with a few months before we adopted Chloe. She remembered him and was very excited to meet Chloe.

Chloe is an all-American, donut loving kid. In this case, it was much easier to let her eat it without any clothes.

We braved the 100 deg. temperatures and spent a day Disney World. As it turns out, Chloe's favorite ride was the bus, first thing in the morning.

Chloe on the Mad Hatter tea cup ride.

Chloe loved exploring at Minnie Mouse's house. She wanted to climb on everything.

On a side note - We are scheduled to begin attachment and bonding therapy the first week of Aug. with Chloe. Please be praying that our funding goes through. Right now it looks like it will not be available due to State budget cuts. We will move forward anyway, even if we have to pay ourselves.

Chloe and ABC of Ohio

2009-06-09T21:37:00.008-04:00

Chloe can now point to 21 body parts and is growing like a weed.

It's been a long time since I've posted. I've actually sat down several times to begin and then stopped once again not knowing for sure what to say. Things have been pretty rocky at house. I have briefly mentioned some of Chloe's sleeping and anxiety issues in the past, but over the last few months, her behavior and sleep issues have reached a level that we knew we needed to get some more help. A friend recommended the Attachment and Bonding Center of Ohio. They specialize in adoption attachment and adjustment issues. We are very fortunate to have them located less than 2 hours from us. After a 2 1/2 hr evaluation, the therapist determined that Chloe is only "anxiously attached" to us. She lives as independently of us as possible and then allows us to do what she is unable to. Her emotional development is very much still that of an infant, rather than an almost 2 year old. She has post-traumatic stress disorder from her orphanage and adoption experience and has almost no emotional regulation.

So what does all of that mean in practical terms? In many ways Chloe is a developmental baby in 2 year old body. She lives with us much like she would have in the orphanage. She never learned to trust, because her emotional needs were not met as an infant and therefore is not capable of loving and bonding to us. Presently, her behavior is very volatile. Her sisters get the brunt of her anger, but there many, many explosions and lashings out daily. She is a happy girl when life is on her terms. But let me just say that this is more than just a strong willed child. There are some similarities, but there are also distinctive differences. When Chloe met with the therapist, she asked Chloe to look in her eyes and say "yes" and she go come back to sit with us. Chloe fought her for about 10 min. and completely shut down and went to sleep. She doesn't know what to do when things are stressful. An infant learns to regulate their emotions when they are comforted by their parents when crying. This happens thousands of times and that regulation transfers from parent to child. Chloe, unfortunately did not have the opportunity to learn this.

Thank God that we now have the chance to teach her. We will begin intensive bonding therapy with Chloe in July and your prayers for our family would be greatly appreciated. We'll keep you posted on how it's going. If this information has triggered any questions in the minds of you adoptive parents, please don't hesitate to ask. Just post a comment and I can email you privately.

Chloe has taken to catching flies - can you believe it. She catches them with her bare hands. One day she just brought me a dead fly. I thought she must have just found it, but the next day she proceeded to catch 4 more at the window. I guess her fine motor skills have caught up :)

Chloe loves the warm weather and would play outside all day if she could.

Mushrooms Anyone?

2009-05-06T10:57:00.006-04:00

Greg took the girls mushroom hunting last week and I just had to post these pictures. Chloe got a ride on Daddy's back. She loves to be outside, so this was right up her ally.

You might notice that Chloe looks a little wet. They got caught in a rain storm on their way out of the woods and had a wild 4-wheeler ride back to the car. No harm done, just a little soggy!

Happy Gotcha Day!

2009-04-13T16:00:00.000-04:00

It was exactly one year ago today that our beautiful Chloe was placed in our arms. We celebrated with family this weekend and Chloe thought it was great fun to dig into her cake. I created an adoption story book for Chloe as a gift to her for Gotcha Day. You can page through it in the post below. If you'd like to relive our trip with us, just go to the April 2008 Archive on the right and follow what we were doing last year this time. Chloe is making a lot of great social strides. We spent time this Easter with family and Chloe actually allowed others to hold her. This pretty much a first outside of our immediate family. Here she is with her uncle, Tim.

I've included a few pictures from our vacation in TN 2 weeks ago. To our surprise, Chloe did really well and seemed to love having the whole family together.

The typical scene, as we drove, in the back of our Suburban.We took our babysitter with us on the trip to give Chloe some 24/7 exposure to her. She was a great help. Chloe stayed with her for the 1st time in 6 months, the week after we got home. Praise the Lord!

Chloe absolutely loved swimming, but aren't these inter tubes supposed to be baby proof? Chloe figured out how to climb out of it.
Chloe's sisters got to go on an alpine slide, but at least Chloe got to pretend she was riding.

Chloe's first mini-golf experience.

Nothing like hot Krispy Kreme donuts with your family.

Shared photo book from Elaine:

2009-04-13T15:45:00.001-04:00

View Project at Shutterfly

A Visit With Audrey

2009-03-25T22:34:00.004-04:00

We had a great day today visiting with Audrey's family. It was such fun to finally meet them in person and see if our suspicions could possibly be true. Today only confirmed that these 2 could quite possibly by sisters. We had a chance to look at a lot of pictures of Audrey at Chloe's age and the resemblance just continued to be evident. The age difference made it difficult to compare the two side-by-side today, but their personalities seem very similar. There were many things about Chloe that reminded Michelle of a young Audrey. I just kept thinking, "can this possibly be true?" Here are a few pictures of the girls together. We'd love to hear your opinion. What do you think?

Audrey, Elaine and Chloe looking at photos of Audrey as a baby.

Audrey with her mom Michelle, brother Lei, and sister Rachel

We'll keep you posted on any new developments as we continue to pursue this relationship with the Hanna family.

Could There Be a Sister?

2009-03-17T11:19:00.008-04:00

I have waited a long time to tell this story, because we were just watching to see how things would develop. Shortly before we traveled last year to pick up Chloe, we got an email from a family in TN. They had adopted their little girl, now age 5, from Chloe's orphanage and they wrote to ask if we saw the similarities in our daughters. They had seen Chloe's referral photos on a yahoo group from Chloe's orphanage. (The same group that connected us to Chloe's orphanage "sister" Jazmyne.) Audrey and Chloe both have very distinctive features and the similarities are striking. Audrey's parents had never seen another Chinese child that looked like their little girl. We have been watching over the last year and the similarities just continue to develop. We're going to travel to TN for Spring Break and meet up with Audrey and her family. Hopefully, putting these girls together will give us some clarity and Audrey's mom will be able to recognize if their similarities go beyond their appearance.

Could it be possible that God has not only provided us with Chloe's orphanage "sister" in Jazmyne, but also connected us with a biological sister? He is in the miracle working business. Please pray for our wisdom and that the DNA testing that will probably be to come, will give us some answers.

So what do you think? Are we looking at sisters? The picture above is of Audrey just before she was adopted from the orphanage and the pictures below are also all pictures of Audrey.

Audrey at age 5

If you'd like to read more about Audrey, here is a link to their family blog: http://hannaclan.blogspot.com/ There is a video in the right column of Audrey's adoption trip that shows a lot of pictures of her at a young age.

All Tuckered Out

2009-03-12T14:40:00.005-04:00

This is what Chloe looks like after a Sunday morning at church. She's so tired from missing her morning nap that she sometimes falls asleep eating lunch.

It's been a big week of first this week. Chloe got another tooth, that would be #12. It'd be great to be done with teething soon. She is really starting to get this talking thing down. Yesterday, she was asking where her sister was and she put together her name, school and bye bye. She was practicing saying 'Ni hao' today (Chinese for hi). Also, Chloe stayed with a babysitter for the first time since Sept. this week. Up to this point, she has had really severe separation anxiety issues and has not been secure enough to be away from either Greg & myself without days of recovery. It has made it very challenging to have her with us 24/7 for nearly a year. This week though Chloe started showing affection to Marlene, who cleans at our house weekly and babysits sometimes too. This is nearly the first time this has happened to anyone outside of our immediate family. Chloe doesn't allow hardly anyone to even hold her other than us, so this was a really big step. We've been working with an adoption psychologist, who said it's just a matter of time, so hopefully this is the turning point we've been waiting for.

Chloe loves to do what her big sisters are doing!

Happy Referral Day

2009-03-04T11:02:00.004-05:00

Today, it's been exactly 1 year since we were matched with Chloe. We got the phone call from our agency with Chloe's information at 11:15am and this is the first photo we got to see of her.The video camera was set up and we got the conference call on tape. It was fun to watch it again a few nights ago and relive all those emotions again.She's come a long way in a year's time and it's hard to imagine our family without her.

First Chinese New Year With Chloe

2009-02-23T11:12:00.004-05:00

We had such a great time getting together with a local adoptive group this weekend to celebrate Chinese New Year. We have been attending celebrations with this group for years through the waiting process and they have been a great source of support to us. Seeing other people's kids was a good dose of encouragement through our long wait and it was great to finally have Chloe there with us. I hope seeing her was an encouragement to others who are waiting too.

Chloe had a great time playing ball with her friends Brailey and Brin.

It seemed a little odd to have to pack American food for Chinese girl at a Chinese New Year Celebration. Those would be carrots in her mouth. Chloe is on a restricted diet because of the TB medication she is taking and she's not allowed to have any soy sauce. Well just about all Chinese food has soy in it somehow. So it was we Americans who got to eat the Chinese food and Chloe had to eat American.

Happy Chinese New Year!

2009-02-12T15:18:00.008-05:00

Time has come to celebrate Chinese New Year. As Christian parents of a Chinese-American girl, it's challenging to find appropriate ways to celebrate this holiday that is so surrounded with superstition. We will not be setting off firecrackers to chase away evil spirits or doing many of the other traditional Chinese modes of celebration, but we do want to honor the culture of Chloe's homeland. So as she grows, we will look for ways to celebrate this holiday with family and friends that are God honoring and that honor the little girl whose homeland is so far away.

Chloe is growing like a weed and sprouting teeth left and right. We like the growing part, but the teeth are not so fun. She got a clean bill of health at her 18 month check this week and has grown 5 inches since we got her 10 months ago. No wonder she's looking so big these days. This baby is certainly becoming a toddler and she's expressing her opinion more "loudly" than ever. Teeth and family illnesses have made this kind of a grouchy month, but lets hope the glimpse of 60 degree weather we saw in Ohio this week is a sign of Spring and healthier times to come.

Chloe unfortunately still struggles to sleep well at night and Greg has taken the brunt of sleep duties since I'm with her all day. We see glimpses of great sleep, but these seem to pass too quickly. Chloe has grown enough to increase her TB medicine, so she is also working through some of those side effects again. She's back to a morning nap and is very sleepy by the time she's allowed to eat breakfast (an hour after taking her medicine). Hopefully, her body will adjust and the side effects will soon not be so noticeable.

Please pray for Chloe's continued emotional healing. This will be the key to her restful sleep. She no longer cries for her Jie Jie, but only God knows what it will take to work through the emotional scars that are obviously left behind by her abandonment and orphanage stay.

Listen to Elaine on the Radio

2009-01-25T19:41:00.005-05:00

I was given an amazing opportunity to share Chloe and Jazmyne's story on a national radio talk show. The interview took place on Chris Fabry Live!, Monday, Jan. 26th at 3:00pm Eastern time. You can listen over the internet with the link below:

http://www.moodyradio.org/brd_programtoday.aspx?id=18270

Just click on the 'Past Programs' tab, scroll down to January 26th, and click the 'Listen' button on the right.

Thank you for your prayers that God would be glorified through their story.

A Baby at Christmas Time

2009-01-20T22:12:00.013-05:00

A baby and Christmas time can be such a fun combination. Chloe truly made our Christmas this year a special joy. To be able to see everything through her eyes for the first time was a pleasure. Greg and I were sitting in living room shortly after all the presents were opened and we were reminded that just a year ago there was no one to give Chloe a gift to celebrate the gift that God gave us in sending His son Jesus to Earth. How things have changed in her life. Wrapping paper scattered everywhere and so many new things that it was hard to choose which one to play with first. We were the blessed ones this year, to have special gift of Chloe in our family.

Chloe enjoyed playing with her new "cell phone" with Papa and Grandma

Her play sweeper was the hit of Season! She even moves the throw rugs and sweeps under them.

We've had lots of snow in Ohio this month, so Chloe got to go sledding for the first time.

Here's our "All-American" girl sneaking icing out of the tub.

Chloe's new friend Mya came to visit with her family. It's always great to get together with other adoptive families.

Chloe has discovered climbing and she does it all the time! She climbs on the coffee table, window sill, chairs, stairs. You name it, she's tried to get on top of it.

Chloe has begun pretending and one of her favorite things to play is babies. She rocks them, kisses them, and gives them a bottle. I even caught her today trying to get her baby dressed. Of course, she was sitting on top of her toy.Help Me Grow - our counties early intervention program -was back last week to assess Chloe and she's doing great! She is ahead developmentally in every category now. It's amazing to think what a little love can do. We were counting how many words and phrases Chloe is able to say and came up with over 35. Some of my favorites are: 'I love you' and 'we're home' when we drive up our driveway. She's also gotten pretty good at telling the dog what to do. :)

Chloe loves to ride on her rocking horse. She has only recently discovered that her sisters could serve as horses too.

Just a quick note on Jazmyne, Chloe's Jie Jie from the orphanage. Jazmyne was adopted as a special needs child at age 2 because she had 6 toes on each foot. She had surgery last week to remove them and is doing great. The casts come off next week. If you'd like to read more about Jazmyne's story, here's a link to their blog: http://jazzyrose.blogspot.com/

Merry Christmas!

2008-12-24T15:55:00.009-05:00

I didn't give you the gift of life

But in my heart I know.

The love I feel is deep and real,

As if it had been so.

For us to have each other

Is like a dream come true!

No, I didn't give you

The gift of life,

Life gave me the gift of you.

~author unknown~

Merry Christmas Chloe!

Chloe decided to wrap this present on her own.
She's had a great time helping in the kitchen this season.

Chloe is coming out with new words each day. Today, she learned that she is one.

Christmas is Coming

2008-12-08T23:24:00.005-05:00

We just had to stop and thank God as we began decorating our Christmas tree this week. For the last 3 years as we celebrated Christmas we would say "this will be the last Christmas without Chloe." Finally, we can say "THIS IS OUR FIRST CHRISTMAS WITH CHLOE!" I pray that we stop for moment each day and just cherish how special this Holiday Season truly is for our family.

Chloe liked hanging the ornaments on the tree. So far they're all still hanging there.

Chloe loves to play "music" on the piano. However, last night she didn't think that 2 hands were enough sound, so she added her feet too.

Spagetti Anyone?

2008-12-05T15:27:00.004-05:00

Chloe is making great strides in using utensils to feed herself. I just had to snap a picture today of what she looked like after her 3rd bowl of spaghetti. Obviously, she was feeding herself.

Chloe has always been a great eater, sometimes eating more than my older girls. Unfortunately, Chloe has yet to tell us when she's hungry. If she doesn't see food, she just doesn't ask. It's hard to think about how many times she must have been hungry and learned to ignore it. I'm sure that she will eventually learn to let us know of her needs, but until then it's a harsh reality of what she has been through in her little short life. There is hope though. When we first got Chloe, she didn't cry when she got hurt. She had learned that there was no point, because no one could come when she cried. Since then, as we comforted her anyway, she has learned that there is a good reason to cry when you get hurt. Now she tells us exactly where it hurts. So, we'll keep asking her if she's hungry and offer her food anyway. Eventually, the implications of orphanage life will wear off and she'll just be an average American kid who asks for food an hour after each meal :)

Meet Jazmyne

2008-11-29T22:48:00.009-05:00

I would like to introduce you to Jazmyne Rose-Noel Rees, Chloe's Jie Jie. We had a special opportunity to share a couple days with this little girl who had such a lasting impact on Chloe's life.

Their first meeting was little tentative. Jazmyne was in a new place with lots of new faces. At first they just kind of looked at each other like "I think I know this person." As they spent some more time together, it was just obvious that they were familiar.

Chloe played and interacted with Jazmyne like she was an old friend and they had played many times before. This was very surprising, because Chloe doesn't really play with any other children. When she's with others, she just kind of ignores them. With Jazmyne though, it just seemed like the interaction between them was something that had happened often before.

Rick & Kathy brought adorable matching panda outfits for the girls to wear.

Jazmyne is still great at spreading love around and she shared it with our whole family.

It was quite a trip trying to get both a 1 and a 2 year old to hold still long enough to take a picture. I think someone should have been video taping we 4 parents practically standing on heads trying to get a good picture.

Obviously it was worth the effort, because some of the photos we got were just priceless!

Jazmyne with her forever Mama and Dada.

I was reminded just this evening that we prayed often specifically that God would provide someone to show Chloe love until we could be there to do it ourselves. I just never imagined that God would provide in the form of another little girl. We are truly blessed with answered prayer and now a new friendship with Jazmyne and her family. May God's blessing be always on her life and may she always be surrounded by love for love she chose to share with our little Chloe.

The Miracle of Jie Jie

2008-11-21T11:56:00.009-05:00

I wanted to share a story today that is truly God's doing. The picture you see above is of Chloe and another little girl at the orphanage. Chloe has grieved and called for her Jie Jie when she is upset and in her sleep since the first days she was with us. We asked the orphanage director the next day if there was someone specific Chloe could be calling for and she just said that they call all the older girls Jie Jie (big sister) that play with the babies. Much to our surprise, when we got the pictures developed from the camera we sent to the orphanage, there were multiple pictures of this little girl with Chloe. She was hugging her, kissing her, and just loving on her. Chloe has been very affectionate with us from the very beginning and we have credited this little girl with showing Chloe love and teaching her how to bond. Unfortunately, we didn't have any way to get information about her. I often wondered if she was still at the orphanage.

Now fast forward about 6 months. I am part of an Internet group for parents who have adopted from Chloe's orphanage. It's a great way to learn more about the orphanage and understand our girls better. There was a family who have adopted from there and live in Beijing. They were planning a trip with their girls back to the orphanage. I emailed them to see if they could take the picture along of Chloe's Jie Jie along to get some more information. When they showed the photo to the nannies, they said that both girls were quite attached to each other. Her name is Qian Jiang Can and she had just been adopted to the United States in Sept. When I saw the name of the little girl, I could hardly believe it. I have been corresponding by email with a family from Michigan who adopted a 2 year old from Chloe's orphanage. We have emailed back and forth answering questions, etc. for months and I even spend an hour talking to them on Skype (Internet phone) the week before they left for Chongqing. Chloe's Jie Jie that she has grieved for is their daughter! Not only was this little girl that was so special to Chloe no longer at the orphanage, she had been adopted to a family that we knew. They only live 6 hours from us. Her name is Jazmyne. Her mom showed Jazmyne Chloe's pictures on our blog and she called her by her Chinese name and said Mei Mei (little sister). God has seen fit and cared enough to place these two little girls who have shared so much in homes just a few hours apart. We will be getting these two "sisters" together on Thanksgiving weekend.

Recent photos of Jazmyne.

"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine..." Eph. 3:20

Then There Was "I Love You"

2008-11-14T23:24:00.010-05:00

This week Chloe began to say her own little version of "I love you." She'll say it and then give a hug to go with it. Today, Greg came across the first pictures that we got of Chloe in March of this year. It was a stunning reminder of just how far she has come. When I'm in the daily grind and working through medicine and sleep troubles and seperation anxiety, it's hard to remember where Chloe started. The changes to those of us who spend every day with her are not obvious, but today was a good day to look back. I was taken aback by the sadness and blankness of her eyes in those first pictures. It was obvious that she wasn't able to hold herself up and had to be propped in the walker picture. There were other little details that I noticed for the first time. I can see was fear in her eyes, just like the fear that was there today when someone was being friendly at the store and got a little too close. She wasn't able to support any weight on her legs in the walker. Chloe's hands were clenched in a fist because she didn't know how to play with a toy. Her clothe diaper was tied onto her with a cord around her waist. Now when I look into Chloe's eyes, I see a little girl who is loved and secure - secure enough to run the other way when I ask her to come (giggling all the way) and secure enough to say 'I love you' back. I thought it would be good to share those first pictures with you again today. Can you see how far we've come? Thank you Lord for the gentle reminder that our work is not in vain and that change has come.

Chloe's Positive TB Test

2008-11-02T06:53:00.009-05:00

Chloe tested positive to her TB (tuberculosis) skin test last week. She had a clear chest x-ray, which means that she has inactive TB. She was exposed to it shortly before we got her and that's why it did not show up in the first test when we got home. She's not in any danger at this point or contagious to anyone, but her body is carrying the bacteria so she needs to be treated. If her immune system would be severly compromised, then she could be at risk for the TB to become active. Chloe has to be on medication for 9 months, but the success rate for protecting her from active TB for her lifetime is nearly 100%.

The liquid version of the medication has really done a number on Chloe's digestion this week, so we're starting on a pill tomorrow that is supposed to have fewer stomach issues. Please just pray for Chloe's adjustment and that she'll get through without side effects.

It was pretty sobering to realize that being here in the States and getting her TB treated could have saved her life. Who knows what would have happened had she gotten really ill while still in China and wound up with active tuberculosis. I'm looking forward to explaining to Chloe some day just how much her Heavenly Father loves her and has taken care of her.

In the meantime, Chloe is growing and growing up like crazy. We've been home for 6 months and Chloe just turned 15 months old. She is practically running and has become very comfortable at home. She runs around the house like she owns it, getting into every drawer and cabinet available. We've moved our living room furniture around to give her more room to roam. She still loves to eat peas and bologna, but she also loves apples and bagels and just about anything someone else is eating. Of course, she thinks she needs a bite of everything. Chloe is quite a character. She's learned to point her finger, so now she can communicate what she wants and when she's having trouble. Chloe's also learned how to tickle us and loves to make us laugh. It's really fun to watch her personality emerge.

Chloe with her buddy Brandi - She's hasn't met an animal she doesn't like.

Some Pictures of Chloe to Share

2008-10-27T15:12:00.005-04:00

Just had to share a few special pictures. Thank you Laura for capturing the personality of our wiggly little girl.

Do you see slanted eyes?

2008-10-03T09:19:00.004-04:00

I just had to begin this post with a comment Chloe's big sister made the other day. She said, "Mom, Chloe doesn't look very Chinese. Her eyes aren't as slanted as most Chinese girls." We just smiled and said, "I'm so glad that all you see is your little sister." A side benefit of international adoption - color blindness :)

Chloe's favorite foods right now are grapes, peas, and fruit loops. She's still quite an eater and growing like crazy. She's up to almost 21lbs. (10% in weight and 50% in height) I guess we'll let her just keep eating and eating.We went back to Oak Adoptive Health yesterday for a 6 month follow-up. Chloe has caught up developmentally and is doing really well. She seems to still have a lot of anxiety, probably her natural bent, but that will just take time to settle out. Everything looks really good. She had the standard retesting for HIV, Hepatitis, and Tuberculosis. They also rechecked her kidney function with the Chinese formula scare. We're so grateful to have connected with Oak Adoption Clinic at Akron Children's Hospital. They have been so helpful.

With all 3 older girls playing soccer, we've spent many evenings just like this, on a blanket playing with grass and clapping of the girls.

Chloe's Walking!

2008-09-25T10:56:00.005-04:00

It's been an eventful couple of weeks! Chloe is officially walking! She has been close for a few weeks, but as of Sat. she is on the go. She can stand up without hanging onto anything and then takes about 5 steps. Now that she realizes she can do it, she's doing lots of practicing. Hurricane Ike reeked havoc in Ohio last week. We didn't get the rain here, but there were wind gusts up to 91mph recorded in our county. It blew for about 9 hours and a 20ft. tree branch nearly took out our front window. We were very fortunate to only lose our front gutters. Since we live in the woods, it was pretty intense. There was a lot of clean-up the next day and we didn't have electricity for almost 3 days. This was the view out our front window after the branch came down. We were sitting right there when in came crashing down. Needless to say, we moved away from the windows for the night.
Dad had an auction last week. There were a lot of extras to sell from combining two households since the wedding. We'll be renting the house, so that prep is next on the agenda.

Chloe continues to learn all kinds of new things. Her physical therapist was very surprised by the progress she'd made in just a few short weeks. She's constantly coming out with new words.

We were notified that Chloe may have been exposed to the tainted baby formula that's been happening in China. She was not drinking the contaminated brand when we got her, but we don't know what she may have had prior to our arrival. Long term exposure to the toxin can cause kidney failure and lots of babies in China have been affected. We had tested Chloe's kidney function when we first got home and everything looked good, so we're thankful that it doesn't appear to be an issue.

Chloe is still having difficulty sleeping and has been sleeping with either Greg or I for the past several weeks. This nighttime security has seemed to help her be more settled and happy during the day. When she stays with a babysitter, she seems to be insecure for a few days afterward, so we just need to be patient and wait for her timing. We don't know what all Chloe went through before we arrived, so all we can do is follow her lead and patiently wait until she is emotionally ready to move forward.

Where Did She Go Now?

2008-08-26T10:40:00.003-04:00

This week's theme is where might Chloe be now? She has gotten to be quite adventurous at home with her speed crawling. The other day I was making one of the girl's beds and looked around to find her - she was no where to be found. I found her under the bed. She had ducked her head and crawled right underneath.Sunday afternoon the girls were playing on the Slip n Slide to beat the heat. Chloe and I were watching them, but she promptly decided she was not going to stay on the sidelines anymore, crawled right over to it, and took a drink. Chloe has discovered how to let her buddy, Nilla, the dog out of her cage and she does it regularly.

The girls were playing with their play grocery cart and Chloe thought the ride was great fun.

I think Chloe got to eat more cake than Daddy.

Back to the School Routine

2008-08-20T12:21:00.007-04:00

Today was the first day of school for our older girls. Things can get a little chaotic trying to make the bus, especially when Chloe gets up at 6:30am. Hopefully that won't be happening regularly. I can't get over the change in Chloe just since the girls were in school in the Spring. I always had to wake Chloe up, give her a bottle, and head for the bus with her wrapped in a blanket. Now she's a active 1 year old with a mind of her own. Things can change so quickly.

Everyone had fun on a wagon ride at Grandma's on Saturday.

Chloe absolutely loved our trip to the water park yesterday. There was a gradual slope into the water, so she had a blast crawling around in a couple inches of water, playing in the fountains, and drinking her fair share.

Please keep us in your prayers. Chloe is having a very difficult time sleeping right now. There have been more than 1 night that I've seen every hour on the clock. Sometimes she's awake for more than an hour at a time. She is exhausted and so are we. We don't really know why she is so restless or what is bothering her at night. Teeth are an issue, but medicine doesn't seem to make any difference. We miss our happy, smiling baby and we'd like to have her back again.

Could We Have Another Tooth Please?

2008-08-13T13:31:00.006-04:00

Chloe has been going through a terrible bought with teething in the last few weeks. She got her first top tooth over the weekend, but looks to have several more to go before there is relief. Between her first immunization last week and teething, it's been kind of a cranky week. I think it's been contagious to Mommy too :) Chloe has taken to chewing on celery for a teether and can often been seen crawling around the house with a piece of celery hanging out of her mouth.

Chloe discovered how fun it is to be pushed around the house on her car last night. We pulled it out hoping she would learn to take steps behind it, but her sisters were very happy to play chaffer.Chloe was sitting on our front step watching Daddy and Nilla the dog.

Our crew of sleeping girls watching morning cartoons.

Chloe Is One!

2008-07-28T16:22:00.006-04:00

Chloe turned 1 yesterday! It pains me to think that possibly the day she was born was not celebrated, but now we celebrate the joy of having her in our family and her life.

It's a family tradition that Greg decorates the girls' first Birthday cakes.

Obviously, Chloe really enjoyed digging into her first Birthday cake.

New toys are great fun!

For those of you who followed our journey to China, you'll remember that my dad travelled with us on our amazing journey. Well, he got engaged shortly before we left. I'm happy to announce the marriage of Dan & Loretta Yoder on July 26th and we are overjoyed that he has found a new companion after the passing of my mom nearly 6 years ago. It was a great day as we celebrated the joining of 2 families.

The girls were all looking so pretty as part of the wedding party.

A New Girl

2008-07-25T07:17:00.001-04:00

It took about a week after Chloe's surgery, but then a new girls began to emerge. She is eating and sleeping and just her feisty self. She officially began crawling on Sunday and is already getting across the living room to get into the girls things. Chloe seems more content to play, now that she has a say in what you can do and she's sleeping better also. Thank you Lord. Don't you think she just looks healthy? It's makes me wonder just how long she'd been bothered by the infection.
Our family spent a few day in Pittsburgh last week. We had a great time touring a WWII submarine and visiting the Science Center. We spent a very hot day at Kennywood Amusement Park, but the only riding Chloe got to do was in her wagon.

There were several other adoptive families staying at our hotel, so we took a little time for some pictures with our new friends. I'm amazed by just how many adoptive families we run into.
We got to eat lunch with Chloe's orphanage buddy, Alexandria too. It was great fun to catch up and see just how the girls had changed in such a short time.
Alexandria has been crawling for a few weeks and thought the girls shows were great fun to play with.

Chloe got a new haircut this morning, just in time her grandpa's wedding tomorrow and birthday on Sunday. We'll post pictures from our big weekend soon.

Surgery Update

2008-07-13T10:57:00.005-04:00

If you had told me last Sunday what all this past week would hold, I would have laughed at you. Who would have thought that not only would Chloe see the specialist, but have surgery too. Chloe seemed to be more herself again yesturday. She was all smiles and we went swimming for a while as a family. Unfortunately, she didn't have a very good night's sleep and has been on the grouchy side this morning. I'm not what today will hold. Chloe is still refusing a bottle, so we'll have to get that figured out. We're planning to take a few days away late this week as a family, so we'd appreciate your prayers for Chloe's continued recovery.

Chloe got to play with her mask before surgery.

We were so concerned about handing Chloe off to go to the operating room. Chloe has almost never left us and the similarities to her hand-off to us on Gotcha Day were very concerning to us. We were very blessed to have Chloe fall asleep just before the doctor came to get her. Her surgeon was able to carry her sleeping back to the operator room with no trauma. Praise the Lord!

Chloe post-op recovery after surgery.

Chloe enjoying a popsicle after we got home from surgery.

Early Intervention and a Physical Therapist were here with Chloe on Friday to assess her again. She is right on track and has picked up on language very quickly. She's starting to get up on 1 knee and is trying to pull herselft up on things. The therapist gave us few pointers to help her along, but she's catching up quickly in her gross and fine motor skills too. Chloe learned to feed herself this week, so that has made meal time a little different. Also, we taught her to sign for 'more'. That has made a much more peaceful meal. Before, Chloe just yelled each time we didn't give her another bite quickly enough.

Chloe Is Home

2008-07-09T21:45:00.003-04:00

Just a quick update to let you know Chloe is home. She did need to have her adenoids removed. After about 3 hours in recovery and 3 oz. of water she was given the ok to head home. She slept through most of this time. Even though she opened her eyes, nobody was home. Thank you for your prayers. I'll try to post some pictures tomorrow and tell you about how the doctor carried a sleeping Chloe to the operating room.

Chloe's Surgery

2008-07-08T15:35:00.002-04:00

We saw a specialist about Chloe's ear troubles today. I couldn't have planned the appointment any better if I had tried. Chloe even produced a nasty looking booger just in time for the doctor to get a look. She recommended having tubes put in Chloe's ears and possibly removing her adenoids depending on what she finds. Can you believe she had a cancellation tomorrow? We jumped on that, so she'll have the procedures done at 11:30 AM, Wednesday at Akron Children's Hospital. After testing today, they determined Chloe was still hearing pretty well. That explains why she's still picking up so many new words. However, both her eardrums were not working properly and her ears continue to get re-infected. The doctor is suspicious that the bacteria is being harbored in her adenoids and thus they may need to be removed. We'll try to post after surgery tomorrow. Thank you for your continued prayers.

Chloe On the Move?

2008-07-07T13:05:00.006-04:00

For those of you who have gotten a chance to meet Chloe in person, you know how much of a wiggle worm she can be. When she's feeling good, she is pretty much in constant motion. She has discovered how to spin in circles when she's sitting and gets up on one knee to reach out and get a toy. She's not officially discovered how to move forward, but I think my days of her sitting still on the living room floor a numbered. See what you think.

We got to visit with Greg's parents this weekend. Chloe let them hold her and play for the first time.

Please be praying for Chloe tomorrow (Tues., the 8th). We take her to see an Ear, Nose, and Throat Specialist at Akron Children's Hospital to see if we can get to the bottom of all her ear troubles.

Photos From the China

2008-06-30T12:03:00.002-04:00

One of the ladies that traveled with our group was a photographer and has posted several slide shows of our trip on her blog. Enjoy!

http://www.redthreadphoto.com/ForeverDay
password: adoption

Chloe is 11 Months This Week

2008-06-26T10:57:00.013-04:00

Chloe will be 11 months this week. So many things are happening and changes taking place. Chloe likes to clap for herself, she's saying 'mommy' and 'daddy', a form of 'lydia', 'dog', and her favorite is 'uh-oh' which we hear about 100 times a day. She plays peek-a-boo, does so-big, loves to play ball, and can stand by herself if leaning back against something. Now she spins in circles while she's sitting. She's beginning to really reach out for things, so we think the crawling position will be next. Chloe still seems to lack arm strength, so this may take a little time. We signed her up for the Holmes County Help Me Grow program that will help Chloe with her gross motor skills and monitor her development. It's a free program to us and we're very thankful to have it available.

Chloe still has no desire to feed herself and is raking with her hands instead of finger pinching. She doesn't hold her own bottle, but has recently begun to hold a sippy cup. She loves to eat macaroni and cheese, green beans, pears and Popsicles. Baby food is almost a thing of the past even though she only has 2 teeth.

We have continued to battle illnesses this month, with a round of strep, colds, and ear/sinus infections. Chloe's sleeping most of the night when she's feeling well (hurray!). We've moved our bed off the frame and put her mattress next to ours. When she wakes at night I can just reach out and touch her. That seems to be enough reassurance for her to go back to sleep again. We really haven't made any progress with a babysitter. Her attachment to our family is great, but she cries when alone in room and hangs on tight when we're in a crowd or around someone outside our family. She's very happy when she feels safe and secure with us nearby.

We were thrilled that all Chloe's blood work came back great. Even the immunizations we were told she was given seem to be accurate. That will save her a lot pokes! Please continue to pray for Chloe's health. She seems to catch everything these days for all those new American germs. She is scheduled to go to an Ear, Nose, and Throat doctor in July for her repeated ear and sinus infections. It looks like tubes might be in our future.

Bob, Patsy, Nick and Alexandria Brown from Pittsburg came for a fun visit on Sunday. It was great catch up with some folks who traveled with us. Chloe and Alexandria were in cribs next to each other in Qian Jiang and its uncanny how much they sound alike.

We took Chloe to see Greg's grandparents for the first time this week. It was treat for them to get to meet her.

Two Months Since our Travel Date

2008-06-08T12:29:00.007-04:00

It's been almost two months since we left for China. In many ways it seems a lot longer as our China trip is like a distant memory. Chloe is adjusting more and more to our family life and showing her true personality. We're finding her to be a screamer, especially as she pulls hair.

Nilla our dog stays just beyond arm's reach as she's learned about Chloe's hair-pulling obsession. She also screams with delight or to say, "Don't mess with me!" when her sisters get too close. In general, she's just becoming more vocal.

One of her favorite things is to empty her toy basket. She'll spend quite a while doing this as long as we're nearby. Chloe still wants to stay close to mom and dad and doesn't let us set her down much to get something done. Elaine has arranged to take at least two more weeks off work to give Chloe more time to adjust. Otherwise, she'd be starting back this week.

Two weeks ago, a reporter from the local paper in town, The Budget, had come to interview us about the adoption. He was here more than an hour and asked lots of questions of us and the girls and took several pictures. The paper is a weekly publication and came out on Wednesday the 4th.

Last Sunday we met with several families who have either adopted or are waiting on their adoption. Altogether, there were 5 girls from China, two from Kazakhstan, and a single lady who had been adopted several years ago from Columbia.

One couple from Alliance who is waiting for their own China doll really enjoyed Chloe. They had never met an adopted Chinese girl so young and were really glad when Chloe warmed up to them. Talking to them brought back the reality of how long we waited. They're expecting another two years, but hoping and praying for the system to speed up. The family with the Kazakhstan girls are also expecting to wait another year for a daughter from China. We love the support of families with similar experiences as well as lending support to those who are waiting. Knowing how hard it is to wait, we want to be a shoulder to lean on.

Wednesday was another trip to Oak Adoption Clinic at Akron Children's Hospital. This visit was to assess Chloe's development and to check her hearing. First we came into a room full of toys and sat to play. The developmental therapist watched her as she played and gave her certain scenarios to see how she'd respond. All the while, she asked us questions about her at home. As far as her speech, her understanding of us, and ability to figure things out, she's right on track. Her hearing was perfect. Physical development, such as muscle tone and mobility, is a little behind, but she's made great strides. She suggested several things that we work on with her such as crawling and sitting from the lying down position. I thought to myself that we'll have lots of help in that department.

We were also told about an early intervention agency in Holmes county that provides free developmental assessment and rehab for children under 3. We'll be setting up an appointment with them soon. Much of what they do is teach us how to work with Chloe to accelerate the process of her catching up.

Chloe loves hanging out with her big sister Lydia, who would love to spend hours babysitting.

"Hold still one second while I grab that hair!"

Chloe after breakfast with her bib pulled up over her head.

Lots of Firsts

2008-05-25T19:47:00.005-04:00

I just wanted to take a few minutes and share some of the new things Chloe has gotten to experience for the first time this past week.

Chloe is getting to know her soon to be Grandma, Loretta. She has slowly begun to tolerate other people holding and playing with her.

Cousin Collin was the first person outside our immediate family that she warmed up to.

Chloe likes to bang on the piano with her sister.

She's starting to be interested in hold her own bottle.

Chloe's first trip to Tuscora Park. She especially liked the swings.

We often go camping on Memorial Day Weekend, but since we're not ready for that yet, we decided to set the camper up in our woods. Chloe thought it was a pretty fun place to play and that the graham crackers from s'mores were really great.

She also got to have her first bike ride with Daddy.

We just got Chloe certificate of citizenship in the mail and it had a photo on it of her taken shortly before we left China. We knew she was happy to eat a lot, but didn't realize until we compared, just how much she has filled out in the month since we got home. See what you think.

Thanks for your continued prayer in our adjustment. God bless!

China Earth Quake

2008-05-14T20:55:00.014-04:00

We have been watching the news with heavy hearts these last few days. A 7.9 earthquake shook the Sichuan Province in China on Sunday night. The epicenter was about 200 miles from Chongqing where we stayed. It is estimated that up to 50,000 people were killed. We received an email from our CCAI rep in China - Anita and she said that she and her family are fine and that there is no major damage in Chongqing city. We also received word that Chloe's orphanage, about 6 hours outside of town, is okay. The quake registered a 2.0 in Qian Jiang, but there was no damage done to the orphanage. There is a link below for further information about the devastation. Our thoughts and prayers are with those have lost or missing loved ones.

http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/china/2008-05/14/content_6682723_3.htm

On a happier note, Chloe seems to be settling in at home. Towards the end of last week, she began to really respond to the girls. She seems to be comfortable at home and will sit and play with them without Greg or I in the room. She even played for a few minutes without anyone in the room.

We had a busy weekend. The church had a baby shower for a number of new kids, several of which were recently adopted. It was neat to hear each family's journey to adoption. Each one was different. Our church is new to adoption within the last few years, so it will be our job as parents to educate others on the difference between raising a bio kid and an adopted one.

The 5 girls ready for the baby shower.

Chloe got her first haircut from her Aunt Jennifer. It's amazing what a little snip can do. Yes of course we kept some hair for her baby book and Daddy took a video.

Do you like my new make-over?

There was baby dedication at church on Sunday morning and we were happy to be home with Chloe. It is a special time where we as parents commit to raising Chloe to follow the Lord and to live our lives in such a way that will encourage and motivate her to want a personal relationship with Jesus too. What an awesome privilege to pass that on to her. It was nice to have Greg's parents and my Dad and his fiance' Loretta join us.

Chloe still isn't sleeping great, but we did have a mattress brainstorm that has helped. We moved the pack-n-play out and put a crib mattress on our bedroom floor. This allows us to lay next to Chloe for her to go to sleep and then quietly sneak away. We've put a body pillow next to her and she seems to feel secure having some "thing" to snuggle up next to. This has at least allowed me some free time while she's napping. Woohoo :)

Chloe's babbling has begun to sound American. When we first got her, all the sounds she made were distinctively Chinese, but you can tell she is making the transition to another language. She is learning what 'no' means, especially when is decides it's fun to blow raspberries when she doesn't like her new baby food. We're transitioning her to American formula and she starting to eat baby food, most of which makes her shiver for at least the first few bites. Yesturday, we tried carrots and today rice cereal with applesauce. She has also eaten baby yogurt, cheerios, and her favorite - bananas. Her bottle is still the mainstay. We have been trying a sippy cup, but she just doesn't understand what to do with it. We've actually had more success with just a regular cup or a sippy without a valve.

We ventured out as a family of 6 to the Chinese Buffet on Sat. and I took all 4 girls with me to Walmart the other day. I must say we make quite a show. I'm sure some people look at us and think "what are they thinking?" Greg & I have both had that thought on occasion. I just keep reminding myself that where God calls, he also provides. The change from 3 to 4 children seems to be a doozy right now. May is always intense for the school girls anyhow, but my mind just can't seem to keep up with it all. Maybe it's the lack of sleep. We'll get there. I'm more and more thankful for the 6 week I have at home to settle in. I think this must be minimum.

Chloe is all smiles for her Papa!

Baths are Chloe favorite.

We're Still Here

2008-05-08T21:18:00.012-04:00

It was 2 weeks ago today since we came home. It's hard to believe that we have been home almost as long as we were in China and nearly a month since Gotcha Day. Last week was kind of a rough go. Jet lag was a real bear, especially considering the restless flight we had over from Beijing. It wouldn't have been so bad had we been able to sleep when necessary, but of course there is now a Chloe in the picture. She thought 2:30am was good time to be awake for the first few nights. That first Friday, she slept from 6:ooam to 1:00pm and the girls just about couldn't wait to get their hands on her.

Chloe came down with a cold and ear infection on Sat., so that put a serious damper on adjustment and really set things back last week. We were glad for a good report from her adoption doctor at Akron Children's Hospital though. We'll go back to assess her development the end of the month. In the mean time, she has learned to roll over in both directions. Tonight, the girls were practicing synchronized rolling on the floor with Chloe. We laughed until we about fell over. She seems to be very excited that she can actually get somewhere on her own.

We're still waiting for blood work to come back before we start immunizations. They did find that Chloe had a parasite from drinking contaminated water, so she been on some nasty medicine for that too. Today was the first day of no more meds :) We'll get her new giardia test results tomorrow to see if one round of medicine got rid of the problem. In the mean time, we just do lots of hand washing after diaper changes so we don't get it too. The other girls don't have the "privilege"of changing diapers yet. Their time is coming though.

Chloe has done a beautiful job of adjusting. She is happy, playful and secure when she's with Greg & I. She was a star at Walmart the other day, just grinning and talking to people as they went by. Of course, Mom was close by. However, when she is not being held by one of us, the fussing & crying is almost immediate. She has truly attached and bonded to us, but right now it's more like a magnet. I keep thinking though of all the things that must be scary to her. Each new sound, a hairdryer, the ice maker, a dog barking, are potentially scary. It's not that Chloe is easily frightened or timid. It's just all new. Greg & I are the one constant that has not changed for a while. This has had a big impact on sleep at our house too. We have not been able to lay her down to even sleep. That means we've spent many a night in the recliner, not to mention all the daytime naps. I wasn't surprised that she'd want to be with us all the time, but the sleeping has taken me back some. With my other girls, even though they needed a lot of attention, at least I could be 'productive' while they were sleeping. This has not been the case with Chloe. I have to hold still while she's sleeping too. I wish I had made plans to have help around the house, but somehow that just didn't sound necessary before we left. Just getting the dishes done or a load of laundry is a big accomplishment. Our church family has brought meals in this week, so that has been great!

The last few days have been the best yet. Chloe is warming up to the girls and today I was able to leave the room while they were playing with her. Each day we see small steps in her comfort level. She woke up yesterday morning with a smile on her face instead of crying and afraid. It's starting to feel like home.

Chloe is very affectionate. She loves to give big wet sloppy kisses. Sometimes they land right on your nose.

Chloe always has a smile for her Papa. It's been fun to see the obvious bond she has with Dad since he traveled with us.Please continue to pray that Chloe remains healthy and continues to adjust. Please pray too for this mom who's trying to figure out how to take care of 4 kids at once :) Thanks for all your calls - they've been great. Keep them coming.

Home Sweet Home

2008-04-25T23:09:00.021-04:00

We started the day yesterday (I think yesterday-I'm losing track of the days with the time changes) with our bags packed and in the hall at 6:00am. China does not allow any liquids or gels on their planes, so that is challenging for a 24 hr. trip with a baby. No diaper cream, water for bottles, lotion, chapstick - you get the picture. They did let me take a bottle of motrin on board, but only after they poured half of it out. Our flight to Beijing was great. Chloe was happy and the plane was really big. That was the first 3 hours.

We had to claim our luggage and recheck it for our international flight. It's a good thing we had 4 hours in Beijing, because other than grabbing a bite to eat at Burger King and feeding Chloe a bottle, we had no extra time. It just all took so long. It's was little stressful, but all ended well. We got to our gate just prior to boarding in time to grab a final souvenir from the Olympic store with our last yuans. The value of the dollar has dropped a little recently, so the exchange rate is about 6.95 yuan to $1.

At the gate, Chloe was surrounded by a Chinese cheer leading squad of 40, traveling with us to Chicago and then on to Orlando.

The plane was really crowded for our 12 hour trip to Chicago. As it turns out, most of the cheerleaders were in our economy plus section. This made for a pretty loud flight. There wasn't much rest to be had. Chloe did as well as could be expected. We had purchased a seat for Chloe, so that was very helpful and she played for a while. However, since she was used to going to sleep in her crib, getting her to sleep was difficult. There was quite a bit of turbulence and a lot of disturbances with all the people. Chloe finally went to sleep from about 11pm to 3am (3pm Chicago time) and Greg & I caught a wink here and there. When we arrived in Chicago, we took Chloe through immigration and customs. The moment her Chinese passport got stamped and they collected her paperwork from us, Chloe became a US citizen! She was sleeping, but none the less we took a picture of her putting her feet on US soil as a citizen. She is officially Chinese-American.
Our final flight from Chicago to Akron/Canton left a little late, but we got in only about 10 minutes late. There was a great crew waiting for us at the airport and it was awesome to wrap my arms around the girls. Chloe just kind of took it all in, but slept most of the way home.

It was kind of a wrest less night for Chloe since her body was telling her it was day time. But by about 7:30am this morning, she was out for the 'night.' We finally woke her about 1pm, 'cause the girls couldn't stand to wait any longer. She is warming to the girls quickly and just loves to bounce in her new bouncer/saucer from Mike's and Tim's. We thought maybe she would be intimidated by it all, but as soon as put her in and showed her what to do, she went to town jumping up and down.

Thank you so much for your prayers for us throughout this journey to bring Chloe home. Your kind comments and concern have meant so much to us. We take Chloe to an international adoption clinic on Monday and we'll continue to post pictures in the next few days. If you have any specific questions about the trip, leave us a comment and we'll do our best to answer them.